The Silver Lining
by Dr.A.Robbins
Summary: He is trapped; he has a daughter with a woman he no longer loves. She thought everything was perfect, until tragedy destroys her relationship with the only man she's ever loved Can they learn to trust someone new, or will their pasts prove to be too much? *CURRENTLY ON HIATUS*
1. Trapped

**Hi guys, this is a new story that I'm working on, I do hope you like! If you do, please review with any praise, criticisms, thoughts or ideas. They're ALL welcome :) As stated, this one's M rated for some possible lemon-like stuff in the future, and some choice language too, so not one for the kiddies! Without further ado, here it is! **

**Anything recognisable belongs to the fantastic Stephanie. **

**Alice**

One year ago

_The flames flickered behind me, their heat filling the room with a soft, warm glow. I brought the small, wooden stool closer to me, standing carefully as I positioned the angel at the highest point on the tree. Stepping down gracefully I took a step back, admiring my work.__ It would make him so happy. This was what we had talked about for years. A warm, inviting room filled with presents and the smell of freshly baked Christmas treats. My hand rested on my flat stomach, my thumb gently caressing the smooth yet firm skin. We would have even more reason to celebrate next year. _

_I heard his key turning in the door and his boots scraping along the doormat. He inhaled loudly through his nose as I poked my head around the door.  
"You like?"  
"I love baby it smells so good. Any chance I can steal a couple?"  
"Sure, they're nearly done."_

_He didn't even wait for me to ice them; instead he just shoved them into his mouth, protesting that he was hungry. Poor little naked ginger men. After dinner we snuggled on the couch, his arms holding me close as we watched the flickering flames. He carried me up to bed, reminding me that he wanted to keep me off my feet as much as possible, even if I was only in my first trimester. He was sweet, attentive and caring; everything I had ever hoped for._

_It wasn't until a few days later that my perfect little world shattered. He had just left for work and I was packing the final bits and pieces for our trip back to Forks. I loved spending Christmas day with my parents. As I carefully lifted my new Dolce & Gabbana from it's prized place in my wardrobe a searing pain shot through my abdomen. I bit down on my lip as my hand flew to my stomach. Then came another searing pain, even more intense than the first. No. This could not be happening. Not to us._

_

* * *

_

I was finishing the sauce for this dinner as I heard his key in the door. I tensed, preparing myself for the onslaught. He slammed the door, kicking his shoes off and into the corner.  
"Alice! I'm starving, and if dinner isn't ready so help me…" He practically growled, slamming his briefcase down onto the counter top.  
"It'll just be a few minutes…"  
"Jesus Alice…you can't do anything right, can you?"

I merely shook my head. There was little point in arguing with him when he was like this. The table was set, the drinks were poured. I dished the meals onto the plates, setting his down in front of him. There was no 'thank you'. There never was anymore. He cut into the chicken greedily, shovelling it into his mouth as he looked at me. He frowned.  
"It tastes different."  
"I added a little paprika."  
"I don't like it."

I nodded, making a mental note not to add it again. Despite telling me he didn't like he ate everything, leaving his plate on the table for me to clear away. I heard the quiet hissing of the beer bottle as he detached the top, no doubt leaving it on the surface along with the dishes. He returned, glaring at me.  
"We're going to try, tonight."

I wasn't entirely sure of his meaning, so I didn't answer immediately.

Mistake.

His fist slammed down onto the table with such force that the glasses shook. I tried not to jump, but with little success.  
"Are you listening to me! We're going to _try_, tonight."

Nausea pooled in the pit of my stomach, as I understood his meaning. A baby. A child to replace the one we'd so cruelly lost.  
"Yes, Alice?"

I nodded, closing my eyes over in submission.  
"Yes, James.

* * *

**Jasper**

One year ago

_Her quiet, tired crying pulled me from my dreamless sleep. I stirred, frowning as I heard her cough echoing through the baby monitor. We'd set it back up when she got sick, so we could hear her. As I was about to pull myself out of bed, she coughed again.  
"Momma…"_

_I yawned, reaching over to shake Maria gently.  
"Honey…honey wake up."_

_Maria shifted, frowning as her eyes opened.  
"What?" She spat, closing her eyes again, seemingly oblivious to our daughter's plea._

"_She wants you."  
"I'm trying to sleep. You get her." With that she snuggled back in, facing away from me. I sighed, exasperated. I was too tired to even be angry with her. Pulling my sweat pants on as I got out of bed, I padded through to our daughter's room. She sat up in her bed, coughing as she reached for me. I quickly lifted her to me, pushing her matted hair from her face. Her fever had not gone down any, the poor thing was clearly miserable. I patted her back gently as she coughed again.  
"Momma?" Her tired little voice tugged at my heart.  
"Momma's sleeping, Ava."_

_She whimpered again, clinging her arms tiredly around my neck.  
"I've got you baby girl. I've got you."  
After some juice and another helping of Tylenol she snuggled into me and yawned. I took her quietly through to her bed, laying her down gently and smoothing her hair from her face once more. She was asleep again in minutes._

_Work passed in a blur, punctuated only by mindless chatter and coffee breaks. I loved my students; their thirst for knowledge was the entire reason I chose to lecture in Philosophy. All I could think about, however, was Ava. Had her fever finally broken? Would Maria remember to give her another dose of her medicine? I rushed back to the apartment, my briefcase placed neatly by the door and my coat on its hook in the closet. I could hear Ava's faint cries from upstairs, each individual noise squeezing painfully at my heart._

_I opened the door from the hallway to find Maria sitting on the couch, engrossed in some __insipid__ conversation on the phone. She barely looked at me long enough to snap her fingers. There was no need; she already had my full attention. She pointed to the ceiling, silently telling me to tend to our daughter whilst she carried on her vapid chat with whoever was on the phone. Taking the stairs two at a time I reached Ava's bedroom in moments. Her little hands fisted repeatedly, trying to grasp for me as she continued to cry. I scooped her into my arms, gently patting on her back as her crying dissolved into coughs and hiccups.  
"Sshh, it's ok angel, Daddy's here."_

_Holding Ava, I marched downstairs and past Maria. I sat Ava on the counter, handing her some juice and a cookie.  
"Did Momma make you Mac & Cheese for lunch?"_

_Ava nodded and I sighed in relief. At least she was feeding her. As she munched on the cookie I brought my hand gently to her forehead. Definitely cooler. She watched with interest as I poured the Tylenol onto the spoon, but wrinkled her nose and sneezed as I attempted to give it to her. She was much more compliant when I tried the second time._

"_Daddy, I color now?"_

_I nodded to her and smiled, lifting her from the counter top and watching as she toddled off in her little footsie pjs. Maria was still gabbing away on the phone, so I reached over, pulling the connection out at the wall.  
"Hey!" She shrieked, tossing the handset onto the coffee table.  
"What the fuck, Maria! Didn't you hear her crying just now? Or last night? Don't you care about her at all?"_

_She huffed as she often did when I called her out on something.  
"For Christ's sake Jasper, she's got a cold. A cold. It's hardly going to kill her! She's fine with you seeing to her, I was busy."_

"_Try telling that to a three year old, Maria! She doesn't understand that. All she wants is her Mom to pay one tiny bit of attention to her!"  
_

"_Whatever, Jasper."_

_

* * *

_

"Am I getting a pony?" Her large, crystal blue eyes looked at me questioningly. I chuckled, running my fingers through her golden curls. She had my eyes, and my blonde hair, but Maria's pout, and her cute button nose. Not that anything about Maria was cute…not anymore.  
"No sweetheart, not a pony. Do you remember how much pony-poop there was at the pony farm?"

That cute button nose of hers wrinkled as she pulled an adorably disgusted face, nodding.  
"Well…you wouldn't want to clean pony-poop everyday just so you could have your own pony, would you?"  
"No! It's stinky! I _don't_ want a pony, Daddy!" Her little face was suddenly serious.  
"Well then we're safe, I didn't get you a pony."

She sighed, visibly relieved. She really was adorable. The best thing was she had no _idea _what she was getting for her birthday. I'd done a lot of research and I wanted it to be perfect. My little princess only turned four once. Her little friends from Kindergarten were coming at lunchtime for a tea party, which Ava had insisted was to be fairy themed. To that end I'd bought butterflies that hung from the ceiling, and a butterfly piñata filled with her favorite candy. There was 'fairy dust' covering every inch of the kitchen and lounge, and I was foreseeing having to buy a new vacuum cleaner just to get all the glitter cleared up when this party was over. Her cake was a pink princess castle that she was yet to see, and it matched her present that she was yet to receive.

I had called my sister Rosalie weeks ago, explaining Ava's present and asking her if she would watch Ava for a few hours prior to the party. As the doorbell rang twice Ava squealed, fidgeting as I fixed her shoe on.  
"Auntie Rosie! Daddy hurry, she's here!"

The moment I fixed her shoe she shot downstairs and for the door, reaching to open it.  
"Auntie Rosie!"  
"Ava! Happy Birthday my little princess! Gosh you look beautiful, and so big! Come here!"

I watched, a smile on my face as my sister lifted fairy-princess Ava.  
"I just love your dress it's so pretty. I can't believe you're already four years old! Soon you're going to be as old as me and your Daddy."  
"Nuh uh, you and Daddy are reeeaally old!" She giggled, squirming as Rosalie started to tickle her.  
"I'll bring her back for 1, yea?"

I nodded, kissing Ava's hair before closing the door behind them.

Months ago I'd been scouring the Internet for the perfect 'fairy castle' when I stumbled upon a company specialising in custom made princess castle beds. They were expensive, yes, but nothing was too good for my girl. The workmen were coming to install it while Rose was keeping Ava occupied.

When Ava returned the house was looking like a pink unicorn had thrown up all over it, but _she _loved it, so I didn't mind. I took her up to her room before her friends arrived, and I could feel my heart just about explode as she gasped in surprise. The fairy bed encompassed most of the room, complete with a spiral staircase, a double bed at the top and a slide to come down when she woke. The doors underneath opened out into a tea-party area with all of her dolls and stuffed animals lined up along the various shelf spaces. It was _perfect._ I glanced at Rose, who leaned to whisper in my ear.  
"Best fucking Dad _ever._"

I smiled, standing with Rosalie as Ava ran up the staircase and slid down the little slide, over and over again.  
"What time's Maria due home? I thought she was taking a half day."  
"She said she was. She wouldn't miss this." At least that's what I told myself.

Rose raised one perfectly sculpted eyebrow at me pointedly.  
"She wouldn't. She'll come home."

...

The party was an out and out success. The little ones had so much fun and even the adults looked like they were enjoying themselves. There were no accidents or candy-induced throwing up, and everyone left with a smile on their face. I, however, was seething. Rose stayed silent as she helped me clear everything.  
"Don't. Don't tell me you told me so."

Rose's face was sympathetic.  
"I wasn't going to. I'm going to head home. Give Ava a kiss for me."

I nodded, heading upstairs to find my little princess. Her door was open, as were the miniature doors of her princess castle bed. She was sniffling softly, and I almost lost it.  
"Ava…baby?"

Upon hearing my name she crept out of her new castle and into my waiting arms. I sat on the floor with her as she hiccupped softly.  
"Why…. didn't…. Momma…come home on…time?"

_What do I say to that? Because she's an insensitive bitch? Because she doesn't seem to care about either of us anymore? _

"I don't know, sweetheart."

Her hiccupping slowly died down and she sighed tiredly, her beautiful face marred with tears.  
""Let's get you into your new bed, ok princess?"

She gazed up at it, nodding softly.

Despite being upset she drifted off almost as soon as she was tucked in. She was my little angel; the most beautiful and well-behaved child anyone could ask for. So what the fuck was Maria's problem?


	2. Escape

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**I own nothing except my plot. Anything recognizable belongs to Stephanie!**

* * *

**Jasper**

I managed to clean the house fairy quickly despite the amount of toys, streamers and half deflated balloons that encompassed the downstairs. I decided to leave the vacuuming until the morning incase it woke Ava. A little glitter was hardly going to kill anyone. As I found space in the refrigerator for the remainder of Ava's birthday cake I heard the front door being unlocked. She'd finally decided to grace us with her presence. I could hear her heels clacking on the wooden floors, and her head peeked into the room, a coy smile on her face. She was drunk.  
"Hey you…" She murmured.  
"Don't you dare 'hey' me, Maria. Where the fuck were you?"  
"Well I went shopping with Nettie and Lucy…then we went to a bar…well then they left…"

Infuriated, I slammed my fist on the kitchen counter.  
"I don't give a fuck who you were with! You mean to tell me that there was no emergency of any kind, or that you didn't get stranded anywhere?"

She looked confused, then giggled again. I felt like ripping her throat out.  
"It was her fourth birthday Maria. What kind of a mother are you?"

She scoffed, bending to try to take off her ridiculous shoes.  
"Whatever Jasper…she had her fairy party or whatever, that should have kept her content enough."

"Yea, it did. For a while. I think she noticed pretty damn quickly that the person who gave her life was nowhere to be found!"

She scoffed again, and I found myself trying very hard to resist the urge to jump across the counter and strangle her.  
"You're so melodramatic when it comes to her, Jasper."  
"No Maria, it's called parenting. Maybe you'd like to try it sometime. Spend _some_ smidgen of time with her."

She rolled her eyes, and having slipped out of her shoes she came closer to me.  
"I want to spend time with you…it's been months since we've done anything without being interrupted because 'Princess Ava' has had a nightmare, or wanted juice or something."

She was close enough that I almost reached out and snapped off her fingers for putting air quotes around Princess Ava. She _was_ my princess.  
"Well you know Maria; I don't find your utter lack of interest in our daughter anywhere close to appealing."  
"God, why is it _always_ about her. I want it to be about us…" She slurred slightly, curling her arms around my neck. I went to shake her off when a whiff of cologne hit me.  
"What the fuck is that?" I demanded.  
"What's what?" She asked, her brown eyes wide in mock innocence.  
"You smell like another man. Where the fuck did you go?"

The bitch didn't even try to look contrite.  
"Well can you blame me? Like I said it's been months, and you're always paying attention to her!" She poked her finger towards the stairs, and as my gaze followed I saw Ava standing at the top, clutching her favorite stuffed unicorn tightly to her chest. Shit.

Maria looked as though she was still awaiting an answer, but I pushed past her and took the stairs two at a time, scooping Ava from her spot at the top.  
"I will _not_ talk about this in front of her, Maria."

As Ava sniffled softly from her place in my arms I came to a sudden realization.  
"I've had enough of this. All of it."

Maria's jaw about hit the floor.  
"Enough! Enough! Well fine! Get the fuck out of my house, you pussy!" Technically it was _our_ house, not that it mattered. All I needed was my daughter.  
"Mommy…" Ava's gasp tore my already fragile heart apart, and I couldn't bear to look at the woman at the bottom of the stairs. She was no mother. She was just a vessel. One day Ava would see that. Before Maria could damage her beyond repair with her neglect.

I sat Ava in her room; her quiet sobs battering at my heart. I quickly packed enough clothes for a week, and told her to pack some of her toys whilst I went to pack some of my things. In less than five minutes I'd accumulated all we would need to be out of here. I picked Ava up, rubbing her back as she latched her legs around me. I held our stuff in my other arm as I took her down the stairs. Maria barely looked up.  
"Have a nice life, idiot." She spat.  
"We will…now." Yes, childish I know, but it was better than hitting her. I would never, ever stoop so low, no matter how far I was pushed. I had to get us out.

As I fixed Ava into her seat I grabbed the blanket from the trunk for her to snuggle in, after all she was only wearing her pjs.  
"Daddy where are we going?"

The girl had a point. Where _were _we going.  
"We're going to visit Grammy." I hated the thought of waking my Mom, it would be at least midnight by the time we arrived in Forks, but I knew I had no choice. Despite the harrowing scene Ava had been subjected to she actually looked pleased to be visiting Grammy, and soon drifted to sleep.

It was an hour and a half before we arrived in Forks. The rain was welcoming us. Naturally. As I pulled into the driveway of my old house I looked to Ava, peacefully sleeping in her car seat. I got out and opened her door, and though she stirred she didn't wake. I knocked on Mom's front door, and surprisingly she opened it not a minute later.  
"Jasper…what in the world..."  
"It's a long story…can I get her up to bed, then we can talk? If you're not too tired."  
"No, sweetheart of course not. I was heading to bed now, but it can wait. Come on it, out of this rain."

I smiled, stepping in with Ava and our meager belongings. Once she was settled in my old room I joined my Mom in the kitchen with a steaming cup of cocoa. God, I love this woman.

* * *

**Alice**

Three rounds of perfunctory 'love making', at least three nights a week. He thought three was a lucky number for whatever reason, but I was still not pregnant. I wanted a child more than anything in the world, but this last year had taught me how much I _didn't _want a child with James. Before the miscarriage he was sweet and caring. Everything a man should be. Now he was rude, callous and unforgiving. He still blamed me for the miscarriage. He thought that somehow it was my fault, and the fact that I wasn't crushed that we'd been unable to conceive again solidified his feelings. He said I was sabotaging our chances of conceiving.

This wasn't true. To begin with. He was quiet, spending more time at work than with me. I buried myself back into work as well, but I would always make the effort to have his clothes freshly pressed and his dinner on the table, like a good girlfriend. These small acts of kindness that he used to thank me for were now taken for granted, and the yelling and threatening that ensued if I didn't have everything done were all that was left.

I knew I still loved him, the part of him that had been lost since the miscarriage, and a part of me hoped somehow we'd get back there. I needed it to happen without a baby though. I needed to know he still wanted _me._ It sounded incredibly selfish when I admitted it to myself, but I would not bring a child into such a hostile environment. That's why one week, when he was on a business trip, I took the morning off work to go to the doctor. I'd not seen her since what had happened. She told me I looked thinner. She said this could have been why my body didn't maintain the first pregnancy. It's not like it was my fault. I'd always been thin. I'd dodged the truth when she asked how things were.

"_Are you sure you want to go back on the pill, Miss Cullen?"_

_I nodded, steeling my resolve.  
"I am. I can't do this again, not yet."  
"I understand." _

_She nodded kindly, filling out my prescription._

James was away on more and more trips with work lately, and I'd almost forgotten what a calming atmosphere our apartment once had. Dinner was in the oven, ready for when he came home tonight, and I'd picked his car up from the garage. I hoped he'd noticed I remembered to have it serviced. I lit a few candles around the dining room, their floral scent permeating ever corner of the room.

The calm was destroyed not twenty minutes later, as the front door slammed.  
"Alice!"  
"In here…"  
"Please tell me you remembered to service my car? I need to meet Laurent before dinner, get some paperwork to him."

I nodded, pointing to my handbag that was sitting by the coat rack. So much for that 'thank-you'. I ignored his frustration when he couldn't find his keys immediately, that specific Gucci was like Mary Poppin's bag. I don't know how I ever found anything once I'd put it in there.  
"What the fuck…Alice?"

I frowned at the disbelief in his voice, without turning my attention from the stove.  
"Your keys are in there, James."

"I don't give a shit about the keys, what the fuck is this?" He spat, crossing the space between us and grabbing my shoulder, turning me to face him. I felt my stomach heave uneasily as he held my birth control in his hands.


	3. In Mother's Arms

**I just have to say THANK YOU to everyone who has put this story on their alerts and their favourites, and an even bigger thanks to those who take the time to review it! I adore your feedback. Please leave me any comments, love or criticism; it's all very much appreciated.**

**I'm so sorry for the slow updates, but we had family visiting, and I've just started my first big-girl job in the real world. It's WAY scarier than University, let me tell ya! I aim to keep updating weekly!**

* * *

**Savannah**

I yawned as I sat on the sofa, knitting the scarf I planned to give Jasper for Christmas. I glanced to the grandfather clock beside the television set. It could not be just after 3, could it?

I squinted to see the small digital clock on the television. It was after midnight! The clock must have stopped again, which frustrated me to no end because I couldn't wind it properly by myself. No wonder I was tired. Setting my kitting to one side I rounded the room, shutting off the lights. As I shut off the last light there was a knock at the front door. Approaching the door with caution I turned the light in the hall back on, and peeked through the glass. Jasper! I swung the door open.  
"Jasper….what in the world…"

"It's a long story…can I get her up to bed, then we can talk? If you're not too tired." My beautiful boy, always thinking of others when it was clear his own world was disintegrating.  
"No, sweetheart of course not. I was heading to bed now, but it can wait. Come on in, out of this rain."

He smiled, although the usual spark in his eyes was missing. My beautiful little granddaughter snuggled deeper into his neck, yawning in her sleep. I could not believe she was now four years old. I may be slightly biased, but I happen to think my Jasper is just about the greatest father in the world. I only wish my Jon was still here to see his beautiful boy.

Jasper hoisted his bag onto his other arm as he kissed Ava's hair. I watched as he climbed the stairs with her, getting her settled down. I imagined we had much to discuss, so I headed through to the kitchen to make him some hot cocoa. It was still his favorite.

He reappeared a few minutes later, running a hand through his slightly wet and disheveled blonde locks. He looked so like his father when he did that. The corner of his mouth lifted as he saw the steaming mug I pushed towards him.  
"Thanks Ma."  
"It's no bother, Jasper. Please, talk to me."

He sighed. The poor thing sounded exhausted, both physically and emotionally.  
"I don't even know where to begin…" Another sigh. "I left Maria."

I practically jumped from my stool to hug him. That girl was nothing but trouble, she always had been, but Jasper had been adamant to stay with her to give Ava the benefit of being raised by both of her parents. I wondered what had changed. As if reading my thoughts, Jasper spoke.  
"I know I always said I'd stay with her for Ava's sake…but she didn't even come home today. She left for work and didn't come back when she was supposed to. Instead she came home drunk at 9pm reeking of another man and blaming our daughter for the lack of time we spend together physically."

It took me at least a few minutes to muster any sort of reply. That woman was despicable.  
"How's Ava?"

Jasper sighed, shaking his head.  
"She was pretty upset, but I can't have her around Maria, I just can't."

My hand instinctively reached for his.  
"Sshh Jasper, it's alright. No one's blaming you for leaving. You're right; it's not fair to raise Ava around someone so toxic. At least you will always be able to look back and say you gave it a try."

That small smile graced his face again momentarily as he took a long sip of his cocoa.  
"Thanks Mom, I don't know what I'd do without you."

I smiled at his words. I could feel my cheeks flushing.  
"Oh you'd manage, I'm nothing special. That little girl of yours on the other hand…"

He chuckled, shaking his head.  
"No Ma, you are special. You're the best thing in my life next to Ava. Which brings me to - "

"Don't even ask Jasper. You are both welcome for as long as you need."  
"No I know that…it's just during the day..."

"Hush boy! There will be no one looking after my gorgeous little granddaughter but me, you hear?"

He chuckled again, and the sound was like music to my ears.  
"Thanks Mom. I'll try to find us a place as soon as possible."

I nodded, my thumb gently tracing over his hand. He was much more relaxed now. After some well deserved rest and some of his Momma's TLC he'd be feeling himself again in no time.

* * *

**Esme**

I sighed, turning my windshield wipers on as fast as they could go. The rain was still lashing down, so I was driving much slower than I normally would. I yawned as I came to a set of traffic lights. It was already 10pm. I had stayed longer at the retirement home than usual because of poor Mrs. Robert's fall. The others were still rather shaken after she'd been taken to the hospital.

As I finally pulled into the driveway I noticed the other car sitting there. It wasn't Carlisle's; he wasn't due home from his conference for another few days yet. As I parked, the door of the other car opened, and out stepped by baby girl. It took me a few moments to register her obvious distress, and as I did I scrambled out of the car, quickly wrapping my arms around her.  
"Darling? Alice, sweetheart, what happened?"

Her shuddering sobs slowed slightly as she clutched to me.  
"I left him." She blubbered, her arms wrapped tightly around my waist as her head rested on my shoulder. James. Why in the world would she leave James? I quickly eased her into the house, turning on the lights as we went, until I reached the lounge with her.  
"Alice darling…what happened?"

She shook her head as I frowned. I couldn't decide if she didn't want to tell me, or if the pain was simply too fresh. Either way I wasn't going to push. I reached my hand to stroke through her wet hair gently; glad when she leant closer to my touch. She was much calmer now. As I cupped her cheek she winced softly.  
"Alice?"

She shook her head again, fresh tears gathering in those beautiful eyes. My heart broke.

Had he hurt her?


	4. The Burden of Guilt

**Thank you, thank you, thank you! The response to this fic has been overwhelming so far! I feel so lucky to have such sweet, kind reviewers. Please, keep the love coming, along with any [constructive] criticism, comments and questions. As always, anything recognisable belongs to the amazing SM.**

**As I said previously, RL is hectic at the moment. New job, new friends and also moving forward. I won't EVER forget about you guys, but please, don't hate me if I take a week or so to get updates to you. **

**If you want to check something else out, check Over protective fool [all one word]'s stories, they seriously put mine to shame. They are works of art, that you ALL HAVE TO READ. Anyway, enough of the AN, and on with the update!**

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**Jasper**

I'd forgotten how incredible it was to watch my mom with Ava. Ava thrived on my mom's undivided attention, whilst my mom relished every minute with her granddaughter. I sat at the breakfast bar with my coffee and newspaper, but I couldn't pull my eyes away from the sight in front of me. Ava was trying to teach Ma how to do one of the dances from _Hannah Montana. _

"Noooo Grammy, it's like a jack in the box! We have to go uuuup, then doooowwwn" She huffed adorably, dragging out the words.  
"Ava, darlin, Grammy's knees aren't what they used to be, besides, I think we'd need a lot more of us to do that dance. How about you show me how good you are at coloring? Your daddy says you're quite the little artist."

Ava pondered this for a few minutes, finally sighing in defeat.  
"Oooook." She conceded, reaching for her little book bag.  
"I have a _Hannah Montana_ coloring book. Want to see?"

The rest of the day passed in much the same fashion; Mom and Ava soaking up each other's attention, telling stories and sharing girl time. _This _was what she'd been missing for so long. The realization hit me like a ton of bricks, and I was suddenly ashamed that I hadn't brought Ava to visit her Grammy much more often. Instead I'd kept her in a toxic environment with a woman who clearly didn't care about either of us. Ava's incessant chatter slowed after eight, and I found her curling into my lap. Ma stroked over her hair.  
"She's pooped now…"

Ava giggled sleepily, stretching her arm up to grab a lock of my hair. She often did this when she was tired.  
"She sure is. Bedtime for the munchkin. What do you say, little one?"

She nodded, a huge yawn stretching her small features. I set her down and let her hug her Grammy goodnight. She reached for my hand as we ascended the stairs, and I practically had to get her out of her clothes and into her pjs.  
"So you and Grammy had a busy, fun day?" I chuckled as she yawned adorably, yet again.  
"Uh huh."  
"Well you sleep good, baby. You can do it all again tomorrow. Sweet dreams."

She mumbled incoherently as she snuggled into the covers, almost asleep already. I left the door open ever so slightly, and the light in the landing on. She was not a fan of the dark.

Mom found me as I approached the bottom of the stairs, her eyes bright with joy.  
"Oh Jasper, she's wonderful! She's so bright, and so smart, and just a peach! She's simply gorgeous!"

I managed a weak smile, and Ma's face fell considerably.  
"What's wrong, Jasper? Is she alright?"  
"Yea, she's fine…" I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck.

I felt Mom's hand take mine.  
"Jasper stop. Stop beating yourself up over this. You two are free from that awful woman now."

Now. Now, after four years. If I'd had the balls to do what I should have done when Ava was born my daughter would never have had to know the heartache of a neglectful mother. Not having a mother at all was better in my opinion. She would have gotten all the female attention she'd needed from Ma and Rosie without trying to force Maria to be something she clearly wasn't. Because of me my daughter was going to spend the rest of her life wondering why her mother hadn't loved her. Wondering what _she'd_ done wrong.  
"It's all my fault, Ma."  
"Jasper, no. No. You did what you thought was best for Ava. You always have."  
"But it wasn't what was best." I sighed, feeling myself growing tired of this conversation.  
"Regardless, you did it out of love, Jasper. Ava is your entire world, and I know you are hers. Please son, stop feeling so guilty."

I nodded, forcing my smile to grow wider. I didn't want Ma knowing just how much the guilt was eating away at me. She didn't need to. She needed time with her granddaughter. Time I'd deprived her of.

* * *

**Alice**

The rain battered my window, the sound assaulting my ears and making sleeping even more impossible than I'd previously thought. Mom was sleeping soundly in the next room, having finally given up trying to get anything out of me. When James found…I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to exorcize his face from my mind. I'd shut down. Cue autopilot. I could feel the tears burning behind my eyelids, threatening to seep out the moment I blinked my eyes open. The lump in my throat throbbed painfully as I remembered Mom's face. How worried she looked at my being there, and how frightened she had been as she tried to soothe me. It had worked, to an extent. Her presence had always had a calming effect on me, whether I was hyper or distraught. This night was no different; although she was in the next room I could still feel her warm embrace wrapped around me like a cocoon, and I knew I was safe here. Loved.

I must have succumbed to exhaustion at some point because I could feel warm fingers gently brushing at my forehead, pushing my hair back softly. The calming motion pulled me from the darkness and back into the familiarity of my childhood bedroom, which looked much more inviting during the day. I suddenly realized that the warm hands belonged to my father. It had been almost a year since I'd seen him, and yet he had not changed one bit. His hair was still the same perfect blonde, his hands still strong, certain yet gentle, and his compassion was palpable merely in his gaze. I quickly remembered that he shouldn't be here. Mom had told me he was in Boston until the end of the week.  
"Dad…what are you doing here?" My voice croaked; sounding tired.  
"Your mother called me last night. I had to come back early. She sounded so worried about you."

Tears pricked at my eyes again. I never thought I'd find myself back in my parents' house in any context other than to visit them, but now I was here, and they had welcomed me with open arms and forgiving hearts. It was too much to bear. Tears snaked their way down my cheek.  
"Oh Alice…talk to me." Dad's voice was so soothing, so inviting. I didn't deserve it. After the miscarriage I'd avoided coming home, trying in vain to mend my deteriorating relationship with a man who no longer loved me. My heart twisted painfully as it occurred to me that I'd hurt the people who loved me unconditionally more than I ever thought possible.  
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Daddy." I sniffled, finding solace in his touch, his hand still combing rhythmically through my cropped hair.  
"Oh Alice, whatever for?" He sounded genuinely confused.  
"Everything." I sniffled again, unable to slow the quiet sobs or calm my uneven breath. I swallowed a sob as I continued.  
"I shut everyone off after I lost the baby…I never came to visit…I barely even called. I just tried to make things work, and I failed…I failed."

Dad's fingers continued to stroke through my hair, leaving only to rub over my back in another attempt to calm me down. It was in vain. Even Mom tried, to no avail.

The crushing weight of the last twelve months had finally caught up with me; pulling me under so completely I doubted I would ever resurface.


	5. Staying Afloat

**RL is a biiiitch! Well it's ok, it's just hectic. My job is going well, and I have ANOTHER one now too, so I'm incredibly busy, and it's not leaving much time for writing, which is a damn shame because I love it!**

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**Jasper**

"It's here! It's here!"

Suddenly I weight had pressed onto me, pulling me from my deep sleep.  
"Daaaaaddy wake up, it's here!"

Ava. Princess. Her face was the only reason for me to open my eyes in the morning. I opened one experimentally, grinning sleepily at the little angel who was sitting on top of my chest. She giggled quietly, suddenly shy. I stretched, raising my hand to brush through her golden locks.  
"What's here, munchkin?"  
"My castle!" She shrieked, instantly excited again.

Of course. It had been almost a month since we'd left the house, and we were just finally getting all of our stuff moved into our new apartment. It was a temporary rent, but it was literally the next street over from Mom, and it was ours. I'd let Ava choose the colors for her room, and now that she was finally getting her beautiful bed back the place would be complete.

Her little hand grabbed mine, and the strength behind her tug surprised me. I grunted playfully, easing myself up as she tugged harder on my arm. Letting go of my hand, she sped across the hall as fast as her little feet would carry her, stopping at the front door.  
"I saw the van pull up. Can I open the door Daddy, can I?" She was a smart girl; she knew not to open the door unless I said so.

She smiled as I nodded, reaching onto her tiptoes to open the door. Two movers stood on the little porch.  
"One princess bed. Is it for you or your daddy, little one?" He chuckled, winking to Ava. The other grinned, rolling his eyes at his co-worker as Ava giggled loudly, proclaiming that the bed was indeed hers.

It took the movers only an hour to assemble it and get everything set up as it had been in the old house. I tried to keep Ava out of their way, but she insisted on sitting quietly in the corner of the room, clearly mesmerized by their work. I sat with her, watching her face. Her eyes sparkled in excitement as she climbed into my lap.

Much later as I was tucking her in for the night, her little hand found mine.  
"Is Grammy going to come see my bed tomorrow?" She asked, a yawn punctuating her sentence.  
"She sure is, princess. You think she'll like it?"  
"Yea. When is Aunty Rosie coming to see it?"

That was a good question. Rose had found herself a new boyfriend, one that she was spending every waking minute with. I tried to be happy for her, although it meant that Ava was missing her terribly. I _was_ happy for her though. Anyone was better than Royce. I tried to push the unpleasant thought of him from my head as I kissed Ava's cheek.

"You excited for Aunty Rosie to come visit soon?"

She nodded, and I chuckled as she yawned again.  
"Sleep little one. You've got your bed back now."  
"Daddy?"  
"What is it, baby-girl?"

"When is Mommy coming home?"

The question caught me off guard. Ava hadn't mentioned her mother since the first week we'd spent away. I suppose I hope, feebly, that she would forget about Maria. I sighed, my hand stroking gently through her curls.  
"Ava…baby…Momma lives in the house where we used to live. She's not coming to live here with us."

Her tiny, perfect brow furrowed in confusion.  
"Why not?"

I sighed. What could I say to that? I never wanted to lie to her, but she wouldn't understand the truth.  
"Mommy is…she's really busy right now, and she's not sure what she wants to do. She needs to figure some stuff out, and then she might come and visit us. It could be a long time though, little one."

She nodded quietly, blinking her eyes sleepily. I wanted so badly to know what she was thinking in that precious little head of hers.  
"Ok Daddy." She spoke softly.

I stayed with her until she drifted off, keeping my fingers in her hair. I didn't ever want her to think that we were both leaving her.

Mom came the next morning as promised, and spent the day with Ava, which was a godsend considering the amount of marking I had to do for my students. I spent the majority of the day in my room, sitting at the small desk as I jotted comments on their work and planned my next seminars. I couldn't help but smile every now and then as I heard Ava's excited and infectious laughter, and I found myself wishing yet again that I had left Maria long before I did. I found myself wishing this because I now knew that in the back of my baby's mind she hoped her Mom was coming home to her. As much as I had tried to stress that Maria's issues were her own issues I was terrified that Ava would come to think of herself as the problem; the reason why her Mom never came to visit. Maria had been vindictive enough to say it in front of our precious girl, and I was desperately afraid that Ava had taken it on board. As I put her to bed later that night she didn't ask about her. Perhaps it had just been the bed that had reminded her of those last few days. I fervently hoped so.

* * *

**Alice**

I was scaring my parents. This realization crushed me. I had already put them through so much in the last year, and to see them suffer because I couldn't pull myself together was more than I could bear. A month on, I was slowly beginning to immerse myself back into my work again. My colleagues at Cosmo had been entirely too understanding about my little meltdown, especially my boss and Cosmopolitan's editor, Kate Denali. Kate and her sister Tanya were my lifelines, offering support and way too much paid time off to deal with what had happened. My Dad was less concerned now; he'd kept saying I just needed to regain my focus, the drive that I'd always had, that I stupidly poured into making my relationship with James work. Mom was harder to convince. The way she looked at me everyday…analyzing my every word, every smile, as if I was about to crumble again. I wasn't. I couldn't tell her that though, because the deep, throbbing pain had now replaced itself with a haunting, numb feeling. That would worry her more.

She was particularly on edge today because Emmett was coming home to visit for the weekend with his newest girlfriend. She had apologized profusely after agreeing to let them visit. She thought seeing him happily settled with someone would upset me. I knew it wouldn't, though. Emmett never 'settled' on one girl for very long.

"Alice, sweetheart did you finish setting the dining room up?" She asked as she flitted into my room. I nodded, standing in front of my closet.  
"Yes Mom, everything's ready for them."  
"Oh, thank you sweetheart." She pressed a kiss to my cheek and I could not help but smile. She gasped audibly as the doorbell sounded, disappearing down the stairs. Deciding on a pair of black ballet pumps to match my long-sleeved, flowing chiffon black dress, I took one final look in the mirror. The bags under my eyes were more or less concealed, and the soft pink blush detracted attention from my gaunt cheekbones. I ran my fingers through my spiked tresses before heading for the stairs.

I heard Emmett's booming voice before I saw him. He was greeting Dad, and as I rounded the corner his face lit up.  
"Well well, if it isn't Pixie Sticks. Come here you." He laughed. I could feel my heart expand, and as his strong arms enveloped me I felt truly alive for the first time in weeks.  
"God I've missed you." I sighed, hugging him close.  
"I've missed you too, Tiny. Alice I want you to meet Rosalie. Rose, this is Alice."

I took in the vision that stood before me. Her long, blond hair shone in the light and her eyes sparkled with excitement. There was no color on her cheeks, which led me to believe that this girl didn't mind being the centre of attention. There was nothing arrogant about her, however. She was stunning.  
"Gosh it's _so_ good to finally meet you. Emmett tells me so much about you and Edward, the whole family, really. He said you work at Cosmopolitan? I'm jealous already. You'll need to let me sneak a peek at your closet."

I smiled, nodding. I liked this girl already. I liked what she brought out in Emmett.  
"Of course. Being assistant editor has its perks." Well…half assistant editor, but I'd explain that to her later. As editor Kate felt obliged to give the job to Tanya; but Tanya had graciously only accepted if the other half of the job went to me. Like I said…lifelines.

Rose's eyes lit up, and the grin on Emmett's face widened.  
"Ok, I officially _love_ your sister."

Everyone chuckled, seemingly as enamored with Rosalie as Emmett already was. Conversation flowed easily throughout the evening. Emmett and I attempted to outdo each other in the 'telling embarrassing childhood stories' department until Mom stepped in, warning us that'd she'd pull out the pictures if we continued. I've never seen Emmett shut up and cram food in his mouth so quickly.  
"So Rose…do you have any siblings?"  
"Just one, Mrs. Cullen. My brother Jasper, he's two years older than me. He's got the most adorable little girl, too. She's my little angel."

My eyes watched Emmett as Rose talked about her young niece. I'd expected him to choke on his food when she started talking about how much she loved children, but oddly, the smile on his face only grew. This _was_ serious. My heart squeezed painfully at the thought of Emmett having kids. It felt too soon after what I'd lost. I mentally slapped myself. How could I be so selfish? It was up to them to decide to start a family, not me. As Emmett and Rose smiled adoringly at each other I resolved to be supportive of any decisions they made on that front.

At least someone deserved to be happy.


	6. All about Ava

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**Jasper**

I sat on the bean-bag chair in Ava's room while she sat on my lap, trying to read me a story. She was getting better everyday, but the important thing was that she loved to try. I rubbed my hand gently over her back, trying in vain to delay the inevitable. I sighed for what felt like the thousandth time as I chickened out of what I had to tell her. She turned to me, her tiny brows facing inward.  
"Are you bored, Daddy?" She questioned. Damn. I didn't ever want her to think that.  
"Nooo nooo bug, just a bit tired. But I like it when you read to me." I smiled, pressing my lips to her hair. I had to tell her.  
"Angel?"  
"Yes, Daddy?"

"How would you like to stay with Auntie Rose for a few days?" I bit my lip, anxiously awaiting her reaction. I smiled in surprise as her face lit up.  
"Oh, yes, yes Daddy!"

I chuckled, kissing her head again.  
"But Daddy wouldn't be there though…I have to go out of town; but just for three days. Is that ok?"

Ava turned to look at me now, her large eyes thoughtful.  
"So…you're going away, and I stay with Auntie Rosie, then you're back?"

I nodded.  
"That's the plan. If it's ok with you, angel."

Ava nodded eagerly, smiling up at me. I released the breath I was holding, smiling softly. Thank goodness.

* * *

"Rose, no. Come on, you've not seen Ava in weeks!"

"_I know, Jasper. I miss her like crazy, which is why I said I'd look after her! What's the problem all of a sudden?"_

My sister could be so clueless sometimes.  
"The problem is that apparently it won't be just the two of you, since you've mentioned Emmett about ten times since we got on the phone. Look I know you like him, but Rose I have no idea who this guy is, or if he even likes kids! I can't have Ava around someone that I've not met!"

I heard Rose's exasperated sigh on the other end of the phone.  
_"Jasper it's not Royce. It's Emmett. I know you've never met him, but you will. He'll be here when you drop Ava off. I want you to meet him. I'm not trying to hide anything. He's honestly THE sweetest, most caring, gentle guy in the world, and he's super excited to meet Ava. Please Jasper…don't be difficult."_

I sighed, pinching my nose in frustration.  
"Fine! But if he so much as looks at her funny, he's NOT coming anywhere near your place until Ava's back with me. Got it?"

"_Yes Jasper, I've got it. I'll see you on Monday."_

It was only a 20minute drive from the apartment to Rose's, which made me feel all the more guilty that I'd not brought Ava here to see her Aunt sooner. She was practically buzzing with excitement in the backseat, her wide eyes taking in the scenery around her.  
"Daddy, are we there yet?" She huffed, fidgeting in her seat.  
"Honeybee, if we were there don't you think I'd have stopped the car?" I smiled, looking through the rearview mirror at her. I had to bite down on my lip to stop myself from laughing as she frowned, jutting her bottom lip out.  
"Don't be funny with me, Mister." She threatened, waving her little pointer-finger at me. I managed to sober up and nod before we turned into Rose's street. Her face brightened immediately.  
"We're here!"  
"We sure are, sweetpea. Did you remember to pack your manners?" I smiled, turning to look at her. She giggled and nodded, trying to get her seatbelt undone.

As soon as we were out of the car Rose was on the porch, wearing the biggest grin I'd ever seen.  
"Princess!"

"Auntie Rosie!" Ava screeched, launching herself into Rose's waiting arms. My attention was diverted from their reunion by the arrival of the largest, scariest looking man I'd ever met. This was _not_ Emmett. There was _no _way this was happening.

"Jasper, Ava, I'd like you to meet Emmett. Emmett, Jasper, Ava" Rose smiled, keeping the introductions short. Emmett grinned, extending his hand to shake mine. At least he was friendly. He smirked, turning to face my little princess.  
"Well it's lovely to meet you, Jasper. Are you excited to stay with us?"

Ava shrieked in amusement, blushing as she turned her head into Rose's neck. I'll admit, the guy was funny.  
"I'm just joking with ya, munchkin. How about we all head inside and have some cookies. Your Auntie Rose made them especially for you coming, and she said I'll get a time out if I eat any before you arrived. So what do you say?"

As Ava smiled widely to Emmett I exchanged a glance with Rose that told me she wasn't kidding. Emmett led the way into their spacious apartment, handing Ava a cookie. Ava looked to me as she took it, then gave her attention back to Emmett.  
"Thank you." She smiled sweetly. Rose kissed her head, setting her down.  
"How about we check out your room, huh little one?"  
"Yes please!" my little one smiled, tugging on Rose's hand as my sister led the way down the hall.

I watched until they were out of sight, before turning my attention to Emmett. He smiled, holding the plate of cookies.  
"Want one?"

I shrugged, taking one. My sister does make good cookies. Emmett gestured for me to sit, and I couldn't help but be shocked again by the size of him. His biceps looked about as wide as my waist. This guy could do some damage if he set his mind to it.  
"Ava's adorable, isn't she?" He grinned, looking rather shy.  
"Well yea, but I guess I'm pretty biased."

He grinned, nodding.  
"It's great to see Rosie so happy. She's been so excited about these few days, I tell ya. It's all she's talked about."  
"They're very close." I remarked pointedly. I wanted it to stay that way. I didn't want this huge lump of muscle to get in the way of my girl spending time with my sister.  
"So Emmett…what is it you do?"

He smiled widely again, and against my better judgment I was beginning to like the guy.  
"I teach Gym at Forks High; coach football on Sundays with the team too. I love my job, man. What is it you do?"

Gym. So maybe he _was _good with kids.  
"I lecture in Philosophy at Seattle University."

He laughed, his eyes almost popping out of his head.  
"Too bad, dude!"

Before I had a chance to be offended, he nudged my arm gently. With all his muscle the contact should have hurt, but it was clear that he had very good control over his strength.  
"I'm just messing with ya. I actually took a class in Philosophy last year. It was cool."

Rose and Ava appeared again; Rose snickering.  
"Don't listen to him Jas, he's all brawn and no brains."

"Hey! I resent that, beautiful. I'm brains too ya know." He chuckled, smiling as she leaned down to kiss him quickly. Ava moved to me, sensing that it was about time for me to leave.  
"Alright little one…I've got to be going now. You gonna be ok?"

She nodded her head, her soft curls bouncing with the movement, although she looked more subdued than she had been all morning.  
"Yes, Daddy. Just don't be gone too long, k?"  
"I won't, I promise. I'll be back Wednesday night, and we can all get some takeout before we head home, k?"

She smiled now, hugging me close.  
"Bye babygirl. You be good for Rosie and Emmett."  
"I will Daddy, I promise."

* * *

**Alice**

I was getting back into the swing of things, finally. Working from home, or rather from my Mom and Dad's home I was able to proof the contributions to the magazine, amend articles and toy around with the layout. My iPhone sat on the desk beside me, keeping me connected to Kate and Tanya at all times. Dad spent the majority of his time at the hospital, or home with us. When we were growing up he made a point of always being home in time to help Mom cook dinner. Even now he still did, arriving home just as Mom was always starting to prepare it. We'd slipped back into a comfortable routine, but I did feel for Mom and Dad having to get used to having one of their kids living at home again. I had the money for a new place, but I didn't feel like I was ready yet. The memory of my old apartment with James was still too fresh. Having my own place meant having the space for a guy, which meant letting myself be open to getting hurt again. I couldn't. Not yet.

Dad often tried to get me to open up about how my relationship with James deteriorated. Each time I told him the same thing. An edited version of the truth. Each time I told him he would nod, his gaze lingering on me for a little longer. I'd not told anyone about that last night, and I wasn't going to.

"Want to tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours?"

I snapped back to reality; to the now, my senses on high alert. I must have flinched because Mom drew her hand back.  
"I'm sorry sweetheart, you looked like you were in another world there. Are you ok?"

"Yea…yes. Sorry. Space Cadet today, that's all. Working too hard I guess." I smiled, shutting the lid of my laptop as Mom smiled gently.  
"What's up?"  
"That was Emmett on the phone. Rose's niece is staying with them for a few days and they were wondering if we'd like to pop over for dinner. I invited them here instead."  
"Tonight?"  
"Yes, darling. You've not got too much work, have you?" Mom's expression was suddenly worried.  
"No, no. Just asking so that I know what to wear, that's all. It'll be great. I like watching Emmett squirm and a little munchkin sounds like just the ticket."

Mom laughed, shaking her head as I retreated upstairs to get dressed. As always I brushed some powder under my eyes in an attempt to mask the dark circles. I knew what I really needed was a good night's sleep. Fat chance of that happening anytime soon. Every time I closed my eyes the nightmares began. At least I'd stopped screaming. My eyes scanned the small selection of clothes that I'd brought with me, automatically gravitating towards the darker colors. I chose a dark grey knit dress and wedged black ankle boots. My hair fell straight around my face, and I teased the ends a little with some wax. That would do.

I'd just finished tossing the salad when the doorbell rang. Dad answered it, beckoning Rose and Emmett inside. I made my way through to the table, setting the salad in the middle before heading through into the family room. Emmett's face was happy as always, and Rose was glowing; she really looked stunning. Holding tightly onto her hand was _the _cutest little girl I'd ever seen. She reached only the middle of Rose's leg in height, wearing pink leggings purple dress over the top. She even had little violet colored Ugg boots. Her doll-like blue eyes darted around the room, taking everything in. Her hair was a few shades darker than Rosalie's, and sat down her back in lovely, natural ringlets. She was the most exquisite child I'd ever seen, just as Rose had promised. I only hoped she was well behaved too.


	7. Nightmare

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**As always, Stephanie Meyer owns everything recognizable. Ava however, is ALL MINE! LOL**

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**Alice**

Ava Whitlock was without a doubt the most adorable little thing I'd ever seen. I was, however, a little apprehensive as we sat down to dinner. Ava came through clutching Rosalie's hand, but tugged on it to get her attention before sitting down. Rose bent down to let Ava whisper something in her ear, and Rosalie's face stretched into a wide and painfully beautiful smile as she looked over at me.  
"Alice…Ava was wondering if she could sit by you?"

Ava's gaze met mine, those beautiful, piercing blue eyes of hers looking so hopeful. How the heck could I say no to that?

"Sure." I smiled, patting the chair beside me. Ava emitted an adorably shy giggle as she clambered up onto the seat, sitting herself up nice and straight. Clearly her Dad had taught her some manners. Rose sat on the other side of Ava, helping her to cut up her chicken into manageable pieces.  
"Thank you Auntie Rosie" She beamed, digging in. I glanced over at Mom who was gazing adoringly at the little girl.  
"How is it, sweetheart? Do you like it?"

Ava nodded, waiting until she was finished what was in her mouth before she spoke.  
"Yes, Mrs. Cullen. I _love_ it!"

I could have sworn my mom was practically _shining_ with adoration for this tiny person. Ava also seemed to have taken a liking to me, and I only hoped for her sake that Emmett would not decide to stop dating Rose any time soon.  
"Miss Alice, my Auntie Rosie says you make the shiny magazines that she buys that I'm not allowed to look at because I'm not big enough yet. Do you make it all yourself? When will I be big enough to read it? You're sort of little too and you read it."

Emmett hooted with laughter upon hearing Ava refer to me as little. He'd always found it thoroughly amusing to tease me for my being vertically challenged. I shot him a disapproving glare as I tried not to giggle at Ava.  
"No sweetheart, I don't make it _all _myself. Lots of people help me. Some people take pictures, some people choose the clothes for the girls to wear and some people write all the words that go in it, then my friends and I choose how to set it all out." Ok there was much more to it than that, but I had to remember I was talking to a four-year old here.  
"Besides, I'm not quite as little as you, munchkin." I chuckled, ruffling her hair affectionately. I was rewarded with another shy giggle and a stunning smile. This little girl really was something.

After dinner we moved into the family room and decided to play a kid-friendly game of charades. Emmett was in his element interacting with little Ava and I had to admit it was one of the sweetest things I'd seen in a while. A little over an hour later her eyes began to get heavy and she made her way into Rosalie's arms.  
"I guess that's our cue to leave. Thank you so much for dinner Mr. and Mrs. Cullen."

My mom smiled, shaking her head.  
"It was no trouble, and please, it's Esme."

Rosalie nodded, smiling down at the little girl who was drifting off in her arms.  
"We'll see you soon." Emmett smiled, taking Rose's hand as Rose hoisted Ava onto her hip, holding her close with her free arm as they left the house.

Mom sighed happily as she started to clear the debris.  
"Oh Ava is just the most precious thing!"  
"I know, did you see her little Ugg boots?"  
"Oh is that what they were? Adorable!"

Dad chuckled as mom and I entered the kitchen.  
"As adorable as Ava definitely was, you are both acting like you've never seen a small child before. Honestly…" I had to laugh as Mom swatted Dad.  
"Oh hush, she had you wrapped around your little finger too!"

It was true; little Ava Whitlock had captivated the entire household. I for one hoped to see her again soon. As I got ready for bed, I was unaware of just how soon I would see her again.

_4.17am_

That was most certainly not my alarm. The noise that pulled me from my dreamless sleep soon distinguished itself in my sleep-addled brain as my cell. I fumbled blearily for it, sliding the call button to the right.  
"Hello?"  
"_Oh thank God. I'm so sorry to call you at this time, but it's Ava."_

I sat up quickly, immediately hearing the panic in Rose's voice.  
"What is it? Is she sick?"

"_No, she had a nightmare and woke up about an hour ago and she's been inconsolable ever since. I've called Jasper, but he's 5 hours away and she was asking for you."_

I blinked.  
"Me?"

_"Yes. I know it's a huge ask, but could you please get down here? I don't think she's going to stop howling until you or her Dad gets here. Please?"_

I could hear loud cries in the background, and even over the phone the sound assaulted my ears.  
"Yea, give me 10 minutes and I'll be there, ok?"

I quickly hung up, tossing my cell on my desk and rummaging around for a pair of jeans. Not able to find any, I threw on my grey sweatpants and matching zipper, quickly pushing my feet into my Uggs. Scribbling a quick note to Mom and Dad, I flew out of the house and into my Porsche. It took me only a few minutes to arrive at Rose and Emmett's; the roads were deserted, given the time, and I liked driving fast.

Emmett opened the door before I'd even had a chance to knock. He looked exhausted. Quickly ushering me in from the cold he yawned, scrubbing a hand over his face.  
"For some reason she's asking for you…you seem to be the next best thing after D-A-D." The fact that he spelled out 'Dad' let me know that it was a no-go word. That was obviously what had her so distressed. I quickly followed Em into the family room where Rose sat with Ava on the sofa. Her long blonde hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail and her eyes were tired. Ava was still howling. As soon as Rose noticed me, she brushed her fingers along Ava's tear-stained cheeks.  
"Heeyy princess…Alice is here." She cooed, pointing to me. I was suddenly nervous. What did they expect me to do to calm this little thing down?

Ava immediately stopped howling and looked at me. I gave a weak smile, watching as her cries dissolved into little coughs and hiccups.  
"Hey little one…did you have a bad dream?" I asked, coming to sit next to Rose. Ava nodded, sniffling as she wiped her nose with her fist. Before I could protest she climbed out of Rose's arms and into mine, her matted head of curls resting on my shoulder. Aside from the occasional sniffle and hiccup, she was quiet.

Rose stared incredulously at me.  
"I've been trying that for an hour. What did you do?"

"Nothing…" I shrugged gently. Ava's breathing suddenly became heavy and I realised she was asleep.  
"What happened?"

Emmett yawned, taking a seat on the comfy-chair.  
"We woke up when we heard her crying. She came into our room, asking where her Dad was. I guess she woke up and freaked out from the dream, and the fact that Jasper wasn't there."

Poor thing. I vaguely recalled waking up once when Mom and Dad had a sitter in, and I threw a similar fit. I'd been terrified. I was young, and although I knew the sitter, something inside thought that my parents were never coming back. The poor girl had to sit up with me until they returned.

I began to stroke over Ava's back gently, pressing my lips to her unruly hair. It still baffled me as to why I'd been able to calm her when her own Aunt couldn't. I could have sworn Rose heard my thoughts as she piped up.  
"I have no idea why she's so taken with you, and why she was so insistent we called you. Her mom isn't in the picture; in fact she's a waste of space entirely. The only women Ava's ever felt comfortable around are my mom and I. She's usually incredibly wary of new females."

Strange. I suppose it didn't matter now, all that mattered was that she was asleep.

"Her Dad's on his way?"

Rose nodded.  
"He's missing a coffee briefing with the other staff but besides that the trip was pretty much over anyway. He won't be here before 10am though. You should try to sleep. I can move her if she's too heavy…"  
"Nooooo. I think she's staying put." I smiled, feeling her little fist grab at my hair in her sleep. I shifted a little so I was lying back, and she readjusted herself onto my chest.  
"Thank you so much for this, Alice." Rose gushed again, draping a blanket over the two of us.

I smiled, shaking my head. I watched Emm and Rose head back upstairs, and despite my slightly uncomfortable position, I went out like a light.

**Jasper**

I should have known. The guilt was eating away at me as I weaved through the traffic. How could I have expected her to be fine without me? I should have known she could wake up and freak out. My poor angel. It was bad enough that she thought her mother was never coming back….but me? I'd sworn I'd never do that to her.

It was almost 10.30am when I finally pulled into Rose's driveway. Fishing her spare key from my pocket I quietly let myself in. Her head peered out from around the breakfast counter as I stepped inside. She looked exhausted, and it only made me feel worse. Despite her obvious lack of sleep, she smiled a greeting to me, pressing her finger to her lip and beckoning me to follow her.

On the couch in the family room my baby was curled in a blanket, still fast asleep. At first glance I thought she was alone, but it was only when a mass of cropped, spiky black hair came into few from beneath the blanket that I realised Ava was in fact curled up and sleeping on someone. The petite stranger's eyes slowly opened, glancing sleepily from Ava to myself. She smiled knowingly.

"You've kept me waiting a long time."

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	8. First Sight

**Gosh guys, I know it's been a while but I was on vacation, and now I'm insanely busy back at work. I've been dying to get a free evening so I can write, and I FINALLY found it! Please leave me some feedback!**

**I just want to give a shout out to my amazing girls, Christie, Paula, Becky, Alice and Nik. Y'all are nuts but you always keep me smiling. This one is for you guys. **

**Twilight and its characters belong to Stephanie Meyer, but this idea and Ava belong to me. Except on weekends. Nik gets to watch her on weekends. ;)**

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**Jasper**

The exquisite, tiny, raven-haired woman looked at me sleepily, a knowing smile etched on her face.  
"You've kept me waiting a long time."

It was such a strange thing to hear coming from a stranger that I tripped over my own words.  
"My apologies, M'am." I heard Rosalie snicker quietly behind me. Our Momma had raised us well.  
"As you might have guessed, Alice, this is Jasper. Ava's dad. My brother. Jasper, this is Emmett's sister, Alice."

I extended my hand in an attempt to shake hers, however my princess sort of got in the way.  
"It's nice to meet you, Jasper. I'd shake your hand but I don't want her to wake up."

I nodded, settling for just taking a seat in the available armchair as Rose made her way back into the kitchen to start breakfast. My attention was focused on Ava, and how soundly she appeared to be sleeping on top of Alice. A relative stranger.

I frowned in confusion, gesturing towards my sleeping beauty.  
"How did you.."

It was as though Alice knew what I was about to ask her.  
"Calm her down?" I nodded and she continued.  
"I've got absolutely no idea. Rose said that she was…uh…shy around new people?" I nodded, noticing her hesitance. I hoped Rose hadn't been making my troubles with Maria public knowledge.  
"Yes, she usually is." I snapped. I felt a little put out that Emmett's sister had been the one to calm Ava and not me. I quickly reminded myself that I was acting rudely. It's not like I'd been readily available, and it was pretty clear that Alice had made her way here in the middle of the night and made no plans to bolt now that I was here. I felt like an asshole.  
"I'm sorry; it's just strange to see her so taken with someone new. I really appreciate what you've done. I'm just cranky I guess."

Alice shot me a dazzling smile, peering down at Ava.  
"Well she's waking up. That should get you smiling."

Just as Alice spoke, my baby squirmed a little, her large eyes fluttering open to look at Alice.  
"Morning ladybug. Hey…your Daddy is here."

Ava's sleepy eyes widened as she quickly turned her head to me, scrambling off Alice and launching herself into my waiting arms.  
"Daddy! You're back!"

I held her close to me, breathing in that lovely scent that was unique to Ava. Her little arms held me tightly as I felt the guilt nearly consume me. How could I have left her?  
"I'm right here, little one."  
"Daddy I had a nightmare and it was scary and I woke up and I forgot you were away and I got scared." She pulled away, searching my face for reassurance. Her large eyes glistened with unshed tears.  
"Hey, it's ok bug, I'm back, and I'm not going anywhere again, I promise."

She nodded, leaning to my touch as I cupped her cheek gently in my hand.  
"Are you still sleepy, little one?"  
"Not really." She shrugged. Rose had told me she'd been up for a good two hours during the night, so I knew she'd need a nap when we got home or an early night.

Suddenly her little hand grasped mine.  
"Daddy this is Ms Alice. Emmett's little sister. She's not that little. Well she is, but she's all grown up, but she makes the pretty magazines that Auntie Rose buys. Isn't that soooo cool!"

So this was why Ava had taken a liking to Alice. Shiny magazines and girl-talk with Rosalie. I found myself feeling a little irritated once more. I hoped that they had included Ava in what had hopefully been child-friendly discussions. I had no idea who this woman was, aside from the fact that she was a magazine editor or whatever. I doubted very much that she had any interest in children.

She giggled however, clearly at how Ava had described her.  
"Hey! What did I tell you, nugget! I'm much bigger than you!" She smiled, now sitting up and reaching to tickle Ava. I instinctively held Ava closer to me, and Alice withdrew her hand in surprise.  
"I think it's time we were going." I told Ava, stroking her hair gently.

She pouted, looking hurt. Great. Now I'd upset her.  
"Say goodbye to Ms Alice."

I watched Alice carefully as she interacted with Ava. She chewed a little on her lip as she opened her arms. Ava pulled her hand from mine and buried herself in Alice's embrace.  
"You have a good day, sweetpea." Alice spoke as she pulled back, fixing a strand of Ava's hair behind her ear. This woman was seriously trying to piss me off. She'd known Ava a few days at most and here she was cuddling her and giving her pet names. I didn't even care that she'd been the one to calm Ava last night. That was _my _job.  
"Let's go Ava, go upstairs and get your clothes on please." I spoke briskly, leaving no room for argument. Ava nodded, looking a little despondent as she trudged upstairs.

Alice watched her leave before dazzling me with another one of her smiles. I really disliked how she did that. It was obvious that it was how she got her way. Stupid magazine editor. She continued to smile, seemingly unaffected by my mood.  
"You've got an amazing daughter, Jasper."  
"Yea. I know."

I didn't like this. I didn't like that suddenly so many people felt that they had a claim to my daughter. I couldn't do this. If they left just as Maria had, she'd never recover. I couldn't have her being hurt like that again. I wouldn't allow it.

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**Alice**

That was not the meeting I'd envisioned when I prepared to meet Jasper. Rosalie had told me about how nice he was and how sweet he was with Ava, but all I'd seen was a grumpy, pissed off Dad wanting to take his daughter away from people who cared about her. It confused me. He decided to follow her upstairs, probably to hurry her along. It was clear he didn't want to be here any longer than he needed to be. Rose returned from the kitchen as Jasper followed Ava.  
"Where's he going?"

"To help her get her things together."  
"They're leaving? I've started breakfast!" Rosalie sighed in aggravation, gesturing towards the kitchen.

I shrugged, chewing on my lip. I didn't know why he wanted to leave.  
"I think he's a little crabby. Probably just wants to spend the day with his girl."

Rosalie sighed again, this time in resignation.  
"Whatever. I hope you like shit-loads of pancakes."

I chuckled softly.  
"I'm sure Emmett will demolish what I can't."

"Very true. Whenever he wakes up that is. How many do you want?"  
"Just two please. I've heard about just how gigantic your pancakes are." I smiled, following Rosalie into the kitchen.  
"Jasper's just lucky that I didn't tell Ava about the pancakes. You'd never be able to drag her out of here."

I nodded, taking a seat at the breakfast bar. My thoughts were on the beautiful little girl upstairs and her cranky dad. There had been something in his gaze that made me feel that he was more than just cranky. The guilt over having left her was evident on his face as he watched her sleeping on me, and as she finally held her when she woke. Maybe he wasn't so crabby or selfish for wanting her all to himself today.

I smiled to myself as I heard her coming back downstairs, recalling everything that had happened in the short time Jasper had been away. I was especially pleased to hear her gush over "Mrs Esme and Mr Carlisle." I'd have to tell my mom that. Thankfully we'd finished the pancakes that were in sight, so Ava didn't see any. She entered the kitchen and went straight for Rose, hugging tightly on her leg.  
"Thank you very much for letting me stay wif you, Auntie Rosie." Gosh, she was adorable.  
"You are most welcome, my little princess." Rosalie chuckled, scooping Ava into her arms and planting a kiss on her cheek before handing her over to Jasper. Ava clung willingly to her dad, looking shyly over at me. Jasper was looking quite uncomfortable as he cleared his throat.  
"Say bye, Ava."  
"Daddy I want to give Ms Alice a hug too!" She protested, frowning at him. He sighed and conceded, like it was the hugest deal in the world. I knew he was desperate to spend the day alone with her, but there was no need to be rude.

She turned in her dad's grasp, throwing her tiny arms around my neck and squeezing tightly. My head was unwillingly thrust closer to Jasper. Close enough to catch his scent and feel his slow breath upon my neck. My legs suddenly felt unsteady as I released Ava back into her dad's embrace.  
"Bye little one."

It was the closest I'd been to any male, minus my dad and brothers, since James. Since that night. I fully expected the panic that I knew so well from my dreams to consume me. I prayed Rosalie would not notice.

I waited.

Nothing.

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**I repeat. You guys ROCK! Please review x**


	9. Hard Times

**I'm sorry that my updates are taking a little longer than I expected, but working three jobs is verrrry time consuming! I AM doing my best to get these chapters out to you guys as quickly as possible, but I feel like I have a responsibility to them and to the story so I'll never rush an update. **

**As always, anything recognisable belongs to Stephanie Meyer.**

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**Alice**

_Every part of my body ached. Sharp pain shot across my cheek as my head moved slightly to the side. I forced my eyes open slowly, trying to ignore the throbbing at the back of my head._

_The desk. _

_Sharp, scratching pain snaked up my back as I moved._

_The mirror._

_I fought to bite back the sobs that threatened to tear through my chest. I was alone. I was broken, used and alone._

I woke with a start; my heart beat thudding loudly in my ears. My hair clung to my face as I steadied my breathing. My eyes darted around the room. My room. My parent's house. I was safe now.

I climbed slowly from my bed and into the shower, my body still trembling as it did every morning. It was always the same, no matter how hard I tried to erase it from my mind. I scrubbed at my skin. I could still feel him near me, and it made me feel physically sick.

I dressed quickly, brushing enough makeup over my face to conceal the dark circles under my eyes. I never slept for long anymore. It took me forever to fall asleep, knowing that once I did I'd be at the mercy of my dreams. I always awoke with a start, the vivid reminders of what had occurred sapping all of my energy from me.

My stomach could only handle coffee in the mornings now, just enough to keep me from running on empty. The pancakes Rosalie had made the other day went uneaten. Mom constantly asked me if I was eating enough. I constantly lied to her, the guilt churning inside me turning my stomach even more so.

The only place I found solace was in my work. I loved my work. I loved being such an integral part of creating something that so many females cherished and emulated. It left me feeling quite content, on some level. As I checked through my morning emails I found myself thinking of little Ava. It was crazy how much I missed the little squirt. I'd always loved kids, but there was just something about her that was special. I couldn't stop thinking about Jasper either. I hoped he was in a better mood now that it was just the two of them again. I hoped he'd bring her back to visit Rosalie soon.

There was something about their absence that made my fragile heart feel empty. It was absurd. I'd met them for only a short time and already I was anxious to see them again. I lifted 'The Book' [a mock-up of next month's publication] close to myself, flicking through it absentmindedly as I tried to assess my strong and somewhat irrational feelings.

I was lonely. So was he.  
He had a child. Something I'd been cruelly deprived of.

Emmett loved Rose. Jasper was Rose's sister.

I nodded to myself, pleased that I'd solved my own little puzzle. I could think of plenty of rational reasons to miss Jasper and Ava.

I kept telling myself that as I sipped slowly on my coffee.

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**Jasper**

"_Daddy…?" The pain in her voice cut through me like a knife.  
"Ava? Angel? What's the matter?"_

"_Daddy…?" Her little voice called again, more frightened this time.  
"Bug, I'm right here."  
"No, you're not. Daddy…I'm scared…" she looked straight at me, and although she was close there was nothing around her. Only darkness. I tried to reach out to her as she began to cry.  
"Ava baby, please don't cry, Daddy's right here. It's ok. You're ok."_

"_Daddy!"_

I jolted awake, sitting up as I tried to steady my rapid breathing. It had only been a dream. Just a dream.  
"Daddy!"

My body moved faster than my foggy brain could, and as a result I nearly tripped out of bed as I took off down the hall to Ava's room.

I opened her door to see her standing in the middle of the room. She had dressed herself in a stripy white and black shirt with black leggings. Her dress-up chest was open, and she wore an eye patch over her left eye. Or she tried to. It kept slipping down onto her cheek. Despite my disturbing dream and my rude awakening, I had to laugh. My baby was just _too_ darn cute.  
"I'm a parrot, daddy!" she giggled, waving her little plastic sword at me.

I chuckled again, kneeling down to her as she poked at me with her sword.  
"_Pirate,_ baby, you're a _pirate._ Parrots are the birds that pirate have, remember?"

The poking stopped as she wrinkled her little brows in confusion. Her eye-patch fell off her eye again.  
"Pirate."  
"Yup, pirate. So why are you a pirate today, baby?" I asked, fixing her eye-patch again.  
"Cause it's fun!" She giggled, snuggling close to me.

"Daddy I'm hungry. What do pirates eat?"  
"Whatever they want, baby. How about a fruit smoothie?"

Ava nodded, hoisting herself onto my back and locking her little legs around my waist. I was constantly thankful that she was such a great eater. There wasn't anything she wouldn't try, and few things she disliked.

She continued to giggle as I carried her downstairs, setting her carefully on top of the kitchen counter as I took some chopped fruit from the fridge. I lifted out a half empty carton of milk, sniffing it experimentally as I twisted the cap off.  
"Ugh, gross!" I sighed, tipping it down the sink.  
"What's wrong with the milk, Daddy?" Ava pouted, watching it trickle out of sight.  
"I like milk."  
"I know baby, but that milk's gone bad, you would have thrown up if you'd had it."

Ava gasped, her nose scrunching adorably.  
"Eeeeww! What are we gonna have in the smoothie instead?"  
The girl had a point. Without milk the smoothie wouldn't be…well…smooth.  
"Tell you what…how about we put some ice cream in it instead, just this once, ok?"

She was practically vibrating with excitement. Hell, I would have been too at that age. Ice cream for breakfast was a huge no-no, unless she was sick.  
"I won't tell anyone Daddy!" She giggled, clamping her little hand over her little mouth as she watched me take the ice cream out and get the smoothie ready.  
"Ok bug, as long as it's our little secret."

A few minutes later we were sitting on the couch with our smoothies and some morning cartoons when Ava hiccupped. She had such an adorable smoothie-mustache that I had to laugh.  
"Dadddyyy…"  
"Oh I'm not laughing at your hiccups babygirl, I'm laughing at your mustache. Now you look like a _real _pirate!"

She pouted in the cutest fashion, trying in vain to remove the creamy residue with her tongue. Ava was not one that liked mess. She huffed, eventually wiping her mouth on the tissue that I handed to her.

"Daddy?"

She spoke softly, snuggling into my side.  
"What's up, bug?"  
"Can we go see Auntie Rosie and Mr. Emmett and Ms Alice again soon? I miss them."

It wasn't the first time she'd mentioned them. As we were leaving Rose's apartment the morning I got back her little face fell. I was shocked; hurt that she wasn't happier to see me. In the days that followed I realized that was happy to have me back, but she wanted these new people in her life as well. I sighed, ruffling her hair.

"Maybe we can go see them again soon, how about that?"

I already felt like I'd deprived her of so much. How could I continue to do so?

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**If I haven't mentioned so already, you guys are INCREDIBLE! Please, leave me some love? **


	10. Party Panic

**I'm so so so sorry for the wait, but as I said before, real life is CRAZY-BUSY. Wish it wasn't :/ but ah well. Happy holidays loyal readers! Whatever you celebrate, make it a happy and safe one. To all my twitter-gals – I LOVE YOU ALL and you KNOW it ;) An extra-special thanks goes to Nik, you may love this chapter but I'm STILL not sure! Thanks for listening to my worried ramblings and pre-reading the whole thing for me :) **

**As usual, I only own my little plot. **

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**Jasper**

February 19th. My little sister's birthday. Ok so she wasn't so little anymore, but she always would be to me. As I got Ava ready to head to Rose's place I couldn't help but cast my mind back to that awful birthday of hers all those years ago.

"_Mom and Dad will never find out unless you tell them Jasper, so just keep your mouth shut, ok?"_

_Mom and Dad had thrown her a lavish, over the top birthday party. As they said, their baby-girl only turned 16 once. They were now in bed, and I'd caught Rosalie at the top of the stairs, trying to sneak out quietly.  
"Are you kidding me! Rose it's after midnight, and you're NOT going out dressed like that." Her skirt barely covered her unmentionables. I didn't care that all the girls dressed the same; my sister had too much going for her to dress like that. The quiet thud sounded at the door again. She sighed in exasperation._

"_Royce is here! I'm going. You tell them and I'll NEVER forgive you!" She hissed, heading quietly down the stairs and out of the front door. I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. I hated the guy. His parents were the richest, most arrogant family in town, and they'd raised an ass of a son. I had no idea what Rosalie saw in him at all. She'd flashed a smug smile at me when I'd asked her, simply saying that she was now the most popular girl in school. Her concerns were still so…infantile. _

_I couldn't fall asleep that night, no matter how hard I tried to. The image of Royce's cocky grin had seared itself into my mind, and every time I glanced at the clock I expected Rosalie to come home. She didn't. _

_By 8am Mom and Dad were awake, and had realised that Rosalie wasn't at home. I'd feigned innocence, claiming that I'd not seen her leave. I didn't want to betray her trust like that, yet I was so worried that something had happened to her._

I'd been right to be worried.

"…Daaaaaddyyy…" she drew the word out, cocking her head to one side, finally pulling me from that awful memory.  
"Are you ok, Daddy?" her piercing blue eyes questioned me as she chewed on her lip. I let out a small chuckle, kissing her head.  
"Sure babygirl, Daddy just spaced for a moment."  
"Well stop it! We're gonna be late, space-man!" She giggled, kicking her little feet impatiently. I'd still not helped her get her shoes on.

Ava prattled non-stop during the car-ride to Rose's, only stopping every few minutes to ask me questions. She could still tell that I was in a funk, that was for sure. I tried to laugh it off as we pulled into the driveway. Rosalie didn't need any more reminders of that awful birthday than she already had.

Rosalie answered the door, beaming at her niece and scooping her from the porch. Ava giggled adorably, snuggling into her Aunt's embrace. I leaned in, kissing my sister's cheek.  
"Happy birthday, Rosie."  
"Thanks Jay, I'll take Ava through to see her Gramma. Drinks and snacks are in the kitchen. Help yourself." She winked before turning away, chatting animatedly with Ava. She was so completely fantastic with her, and I only hoped that one day she'd be lucky enough to have her own.

I made my way into the kitchen as Emmett was coming out, holding a beer in each hand.  
"Wow, careful dude! This one's for you. I thought I heard that little squirt of yours around here." He chuckled as he handed me the beer. I smiled at his pet name for Ava. He really was very good with kids.  
"You remember my little nugget too, right?" He chuckled, swiftly dodging the elbow that came to greet his rib. The slender arm belonged to none other than Alice Cullen. I hadn't anticipated her coming to Rose's party.  
"Hi Jasper." She smiled, rolling her eyes at her goof of a brother.  
"Alice." I nodded in response. "How have you been?" I asked, trying to remain polite and trying to remember just why she got under my skin in the first place. As she flashed that stunning smile of hers at me my mind was a blank.  
"Pretty good, and yourself? How's Ava?" Ava. That was it. The rational part of me knew I should be thankful for what she'd done when I wasn't around, but the other part of me hated her for it. She wasn't related to Ava like Mom and Rose were, and if she got bored and disappeared from our lives back to the big city it would be me that would have to pick up the pieces and explain to Ava why another person she cared about was no longer around. Yes. That was what got under my skin.  
"She's fine." I said shortly, taking a swig of beer.

In that moment it occurred to me that Alice Cullen would be a lot easier to hate if she wasn't so damn beautiful.

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**Alice**

"It's just Rose's party Alice, not a fashion show. Just pick a freaking dress already!"

I turned, swatting Emmett with one of my purses.  
"Hush. I like to look good, it's not a crime." I retorted, sticking my tongue out at him. He sighed in defeat, getting up from my bed.  
"Fine, but I'm leaving in fifteen minutes, and if your ass is not in that car then so help me…"

I chuckled as he left. Emmett had been kind enough to offer me a ride to Rose's while my car was in for a service. He'd muttered something about not wanting to leave Rosalie alone for too long today. He hadn't elaborated so I didn't pry. I just focused on getting ready faster.

Less than ten minutes later I slipped into the front seat wearing a floral dress teamed with thick tights, a faux fur shrug and my new Burberry winter boots.  
"Finally. You look cute." I smiled, starting the car.  
"Ew Emm, just drive." I chuckled, swatting him again as I fastened my seatbelt. I'd bought Rosalie the new Chanel clutch that she was eyeing in the latest edition of Cosmo, and I was beyond excited to give it to her. I was also excited to meet Rose and Jasper's Mom; Emmett had said she was an absolute sweetheart. We pulled into the street, parking the car a few feet from Rose's driveway. I quickly scooped her gift from the back seat and took Emmett's arm. My Burberry boots were warm and pretty, but didn't have much grip against the frosty ground. I pressed the doorbell twice, unlinking myself from Emmett. Rose opened the door and launched herself at my brother, squeezing him tightly.  
"Hey babe. You look stunning." He smiled, and I had to agree. Her jeans were tucked snugly into her incredibly high boots and her top made the best of her God-given assets. She chuckled, hugging me close once she'd released Emmett.  
"You look amazing, Alice. All gifts on the table please!"

I left Rose and Emmett talking as I made my way into their family room. There was already an assortment of presents on the table, but no one in the room. The noise was clearly coming from the kitchen. As I was heading through the door I almost walked into an older woman.  
"Oh Gosh! I'm so sorry!" Her drink had nearly spilled down her pristine looking cream sweater.  
"Not to worry dear, it was my fault. I'm Savannah Whitlock, Rose's mother. And you are?"

So _this_ was Rose and Jasper's mom. I couldn't say I was surprised. She looked like a gracefully aging old Hollywood starlet from the 50s. I knew where Jasper and Rosalie got their stunning good looks from.  
"I'm Alice, Alice Cullen. Emmett's little sister." I smiled, politely shaking her hand.  
"Oh yes! Rose has told me so much about you. Well…that you're the editor of Cosmopolitan? What an exciting life you must lead, Alice." She beamed, taking a sip of her soda. I smiled softly.  
"No, not so exciting. But I do love my job." Since James however, I'd not been enjoying it as much as I used to. I'd not been enjoying _anything_ as much as I'd used to. I hated that I couldn't stop thinking about him. I hated that I was still having nightmares because of him. Savannah Whitlock's hand brushing along my arm pulled me from my thoughts.  
"It was lovely to finally meet you, Alice."

Jasper arrived a little later, and although he was being friendly with everyone else he'd reserved another good dose of rudeness for me. He barely answered any questions I asked and made an excuse to talk to other people whenever we had a moment alone. My eyes continued to search the room for him. I couldn't describe the sensation. It was as if I needed to know where he was. Each time my eyes found him he was looking at me too. My stomach fluttered anxiously each time, and each time he looked away, rubbing his neck.

I was chatting with Rose when I felt a tug at my dress. I glanced down to find Ava smiling up at me.  
"Hello."  
"Hi, cutie!" I smiled, resting my hand on her gorgeous blond hair.  
"Are you enjoying the party, sweetpea?"  
"S'not as good as mine was. We had glitter eeeeeverywhere!" She giggled, throwing her arms out wide.  
"Wow, that sounds pretty awesome. Maybe Auntie Rose should have had some glitter too." I smirked to Rose as she snorted delicately.  
"Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that sh…sshhuff out of the carpet?" She amended quickly, bending down to kiss Ava's head. Ava giggled shyly in response, thriving on her Aunt's attention. She was seriously adorable, like a mini little Jasper only with better manners.

"Well we'll have glitter at _my_ birthday party, how about that?" I winked to Ava as Rosalie rolled her eyes.  
"As long as I don't have to help with the clean-up." She half-joked as she hugged Ava to her leg. Ava quickly wriggled away however, as she spotted my brother blowing bubbles. I swear he was still a big kid at heart.

"Did you meet my mom yet, Alice? I wanted to introduce you guys."  
"I did actually - "

_A glass shattered. His face was too close to mine; yelling. As hard as I tried to gasp for air I just couldn't breathe. Darkness began to close in around me as I sank to the floor, squeezing my eyes shut in an attempt to block it all out. Stop. Someone please make it stop.  
_

"_Please, stop! Please…" I __whimpered._

"Please, please just stop…"

Warm, gentle hands on my face. A name calling mine. Calling calmly. There was no yelling now.  
"Alice. Alice I need you to breathe. Can you breathe for me?"

My chest still felt too tight, as if someone had knocked the air out of me. My heartbeat hammered in my ears and my stomach felt uneasy. Again I gasped for air.  
"Please..." I managed, my eyes still squeezed tightly shut. I didn't want to see _his_ face when I opened them.  
"Alice it's me, it's Jasper. I need you to open your eyes and breathe for me."

Jasper. His soothing tone and the calming rubbing motion on my arm finally pulled me from my own personal prison. The room still threatened to shake around me as I opened my eyes. Worried, blue eyes met mine, imploring me to respond.  
"Alice, can you hear me?"

I nodded. I didn't trust my voice yet. Rosalie and Emmett were close too; I could feel my brother's hand on my back, the small gesture like a pillar of support right now.  
"What happened, little one?" He asked, visibly shaken by my…episode.

I could feel everyone in the room looking at me. I shook my head.  
"We were talking, then someone dropped a glass and she just…" Rosalie's voice trailed off. A glass. A silly, insignificant glass.  
"I'm ok…" I gasped, air filling my lungs again. Jasper's hand reached out, handing me a glass of water. My hand trembled as I took it. He noticed, enclosing his hand around mine. I prepared to flinch, to be overwhelmed with panic again. Nothing happened.

His thumb brushed gently over my hand as he held the glass from shaking.

"Why don't we go get some air?"

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**I found this chapter really difficult for some reason. Reviews/comments would mean the world to me on this one. x**


	11. A Helping Hand

**Another, SHORT update before I go away on vacation! I have to thank the AMAZING koko 23 cat for beta-ing this chapter. That's what I get for asking her to 'glance' over it... ;) She completely transformed it into something SPECTACULAR! Y'all have to read her fic 'Take My Hand' - I'm completely hooked. **

**As usual I don't own anything recognisable! Please leave me some love and have a Happy New Year! **

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**Jasper**

From the corner of my eye I could see my Mom reading a book on the couch with Ava, they looked so happy and she was so good with her it made me smile. She'd obviously become bored with Emmett and the bubbles. I tore my eyes away from them and focused again on the conversation I was having with a few of Emmett's colleagues. A loud smash suddenly tore through the air. A dropped glass. I quickly looked to Ava. She was fine; she was still completely engrossed in her story and oblivious to the noise.

"Alice?"

The worried voice of my sister caught my attention, and I turned and followed her frantic gaze to where Alice stood, unmoving and white as a sheet. Emmett's attempt to reach out and touch her was met by a strangled cry and I watched horrified as she squeezed her eyes shut, sliding to the floor as her tiny body began to tremble. I pushed my way through the other guests who were mercifully paying attention to the spilled beverage instead of to Alice. As I approached I noticed the thin sheen of sweat on her brow, and her erratic breathing. I'd seen enough panic attacks to realize what was happening to her but I had no idea what had triggered it. I reached out gently to touch her cheek as an urge to comfort her came over me, I needed her to be calm and to regulate her breathing.

"What's happening!" Emmett's voice was urgent, as he looked from his sister to me.

"She's having a panic attack. Has she ever had them before?" I glanced away from Alice for just a moment to see Emmett's confused face. He just shook his head and shrugged, he was as bewildered as I was.

"No…please…please just stop…" Alice whimpered as she rocked slowly back and forth, although she was clearly not speaking to us. Nausea formed in the pit of my stomach. I dreaded to know who or what she was talking about.

I pulled my thoughts back and instead, I focused on bringing her back to us. I gently placed my hands on her cheeks and spoke softly, keeping my voice low and soothing.

"Alice. Alice I need you to breathe. Can you breathe for me?"

"Please…?" Alice croaked weakly, her eyes still squeezed tightly shut. It was as if she were trying to exorcise some awful memory from her mind, it was terrifying to watch.

"Alice it's me, it's Jasper," I tried again desperately. "I need you to open your eyes and breathe for me, please Alice"

Upon hearing my name the tremors seemed to subside ever so slightly and I ran a calming, gentle hand along her arm, trying to bring her back to us. The silence seemed to stretch on and on but moments later her eyes opened, looking nervously into mine.

"Alice, can you hear me?" I said quietly, not wanting to startle her.

She nodded in response, clearly too shaken to speak. Rose and Emmett now sat beside me on the ground, Emmett's hand resting supportively on Alice's back.

"What happened, little one?" He said gently, rubbing soothing circles into her tiny shoulders. His larger hand swamped her tiny frame but she seemed to find some comfort in the gesture.

But she didn't answer him; instead her eyes anxiously scanned the room. A number of the guests had become aware of her…episode, and I could tell she felt trapped and embarrassed. Emmett and I exchanged concerned glances as Rose responded for her.

"We were talking, then someone dropped a glass and she just…" Rose shrugged helplessly.

Oh crap…the glass. It must have triggered something, but what? There was a part of me that thought maybe I didn't know if we _wanted _to know.

"I'm ok…" Alice suddenly spoke quietly, her voice catching in her throat. I took a glass of water from a nearby table and held it out to her. Her small hand trembled, so I brought mine around hers to support the glass. Her eyes narrowed just a little, in fear perhaps, but she quickly calmed again as I brushed my thumb gently across her hand.

"Why don't we go get some air?" I said softly.

Her eyes thanked me gratefully as she tried to stand. She wobbled slightly but Emmett had her firmly held to him. I extended my hand to her and she took it willingly, clutching with an incredible might for such a tiny person.

There was frost on the patio as we stepped outside but it wasn't too cold for us to stay out for a short while. Alice slipped her hand from mine as she folded her arms tightly across her chest.  
"I'm so sorry about that…" she began tentatively.

"There's no need to be sorry," I said firmly. "Are you alright? Do you feel sick?"

"Just a little, but the fresh air is helping." She raised her eyes to meet mine properly for the first time. "Thank you, Jasper."

"You're welcome." I couldn't help smiling as her eyes caught mine but it was half hearted and I knew it didn't quite reach my eyes. Because it was all becoming clearer now, beneath the makeup and designer clothes Alice Cullen appeared to be struggling to stay afloat; bobbing helplessly in a sea of despair that threatened to consume her. Yes, now I could see more clearly, and I felt like such a jerk.

"You…wanna talk about it?" I said hesitantly. I'd never given her any reason to ever want to talk to me, and I was sure she wouldn't now. I regretted my words instantly when fresh tears pricked at her eyes and she wrapped her arms around herself a little more. The silence was deafening as Alice exhaled slowly and I was almost certain that she was going to turn away from me. So she surprised me when she began to speak, her voice weak and faltering at first.

"His name was James," she said, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "We were together until Christmas…but things hadn't been working for a long time. I kept trying to make him happy, but I failed." A single tear made its way down her cheek, marring her perfect complexion. I shoved my hands in my pockets as the urge to comfort her swept over me again. Alice quickly brushed the tear away as she laughed bitterly. "I don't know why I'm telling you this. I've never told anyone…"

.  
"I don't know why you're telling me either," I said honestly. "But I'm glad you are. Bottling everything up…it's not healthy…trust me, I know, But I don't believe you failed him, Alice. Judging by that panic attack I'd say _he_ failed _you_, rather spectacularly."

She appeared to clam up at the mention of what had happened, so I extended my hand and gently placed it on her back. I didn't know why she was suddenly opening up to me either but I got the feeling it had taken a lot for her to trust me and I didn't want to do anything to make her think she'd been wrong.

"Hey…I'm sorry," I said offering her a weak grin. "We don't have to talk about it anymore. Why don't we back inside and see if my sister's got any hot chocolate anywhere. It always makes me feel better." I kept my expression cautiously hopeful, I could see that she was worn out and I didn't want to give her any reason to fear me.

Alice eyed me blankly for a moment; the only emotion evident in her face was exhaustion. But then her face slowly softened and I could detect the faintest flicker of a smile starting to adorn her beautiful features.

"Chocolate's good." Her voice was still timid but I could sense a tiny shred of her usual spark and I latched on to it quickly, chuckling and nudging her gently in an attempt to lighten the mood before we went back in.

"You girls are all the same," I said rolling my eyes.

Alice giggled a little, wiping her eyes and sniffing softly. "Thank you, Jasper." Her tiny hand squeezed mine as I opened the patio doors and I responded in kind, mindful of how small she was. She dropped my hand as we stepped inside and I immediately felt cold from the loss of contact. I pushed the feeling aside as my eyes surveyed the room, my lips turning up when I saw that my fantastic sister had two mugs of cocoa waiting on the table for us.

My smile faded a little though when I saw Emmett standing with looked like a big, lost teddy-bear, as he stared at his little sister. Alice moved quickly to his side, wrapping her arms around him and burying her head into his chest. Emmett was visibly calmer at her touch and I pulled my gaze from them, searching the room for my mom. I found her much as I had left her, still keeping Ava entertained. It appeared Ava been totally unaware of Alice's episode and my departure. I made a mental note to thank my mom later.

I decided to leave Alice in Emmett's capable hands as Rosalie motioned for me to join her in the kitchen.

"Well…?" She pressed as soon as we were alone. "What happened? Is she ok?"

I sighed, taking a sip of my cocoa and trying to decide just how much to tell my sister. I didn't want to betray Alice's trust, but it was obvious that Rose was worried about her.

"She's ok."

Rosalie relaxed at my words, so I didn't continue. Alice was ok _now,_but goodness knows what she'd been through.


	12. Reflection

**Just a little filler for everyone that was worried about Alice at the end of the last chapter! Here's a little look into her head and her reaction to Jasper's help. ;) I hope you all enjoy! As always, Koko and Nickles rock my world and keep me sane when I think my work sucks. **

**Disclaimer: SM owns characters, I own Ava and plot :)**

**Please hit that review button**

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**Alice**

The ride home from the party was silent. Emmett seemed at a loss for what to say, which for him was a first. I could tell he was worried, but in that particular moment I was too exhausted to care. I chewed on my lip worriedly as I replayed my conversation with Jasper in my head. Why had I been so candid with him? Did I regret my honesty? Right now I wasn't sure.

Emmett parked in our parent's driveway, quickly rounding the vehicle and opening my door. He extended his hand to me silently, taking my small hand in his. My…episode had left me shaky on my feet and I welcomed the assistance.  
"Thanks." I spoke softly as we reached the door.  
"Anytime, Pix. You gonna be ok?" His big brown eyes looked into mine with so much love that I had to smile.  
"Yeah, I will be."

He nodded, letting go of my hand reluctantly and heading back to his car as I let myself into the house. The smell of Mom's cooking permeated the entire house, and I could hear her humming to herself in the kitchen.  
"Alice? Is that you home, sweetheart?" She called to me, her head appearing around the door. Her face dropped suddenly and she came towards me quickly.  
"Alice? Darling what happened? You look like you've seen a ghost!" I suppressed the urge to groan as she quickly called Dad through from the study.  
"Carlisle would you just look at her! The poor thing is pale as chalk and shaking like a leaf!"

I held a hand up to silence them both before my dad could even speak.  
"I'm ok Mom, honestly. It's cold out there, and I wasn't warmly enough dressed. Also I think I ate something at the party that didn't quite agree with me so I'm really not feeling too well. I'm going to go take a bath and lie down."

I begged them to take my word for it and just let me sleep. Dad frowned as he placed the back of his hand on my forehead. Mom glanced worriedly to him and then back to me.  
"Not to worry darling, just get some rest. We'll be down here if you need anything." He smiled softly, squeezing my shoulder.

I nodded as I made my way upstairs and into my ensuite. I ran the water as I got undressed, eyeing my body in the mirror. The bruises had long since faded now, but the events of today made it clear that that all was not healed. I could feel my heart beginning to beat erratically again as I thought back to everything and I had to steady myself on the side of the tub before sinking down into the water and squeezing my eyes closed. The warm water helped to relax my aching muscles and frayed nerves. As I stepped out and into my robe I couldn't help but think of Jasper. He'd been so kind to help me like that when Rosalie and Emmett seemed at a loss of how to cope. I remembered the calming feeling of my hand in his, and his gentle, understanding gaze. Being around Jasper didn't evoke the same unease that being around other men did. When anyone other than my Dad or brothers came close to me I could feel my throat constricting in panic, but with Jasper it was as though every fiber of my being yearned to be closer to him.

.

Despite everything I slept well that night, and threw myself back into my work the following morning. Mom and Dad seemed quite content that I was more or less back to my usual self and as such left me in peace to sift through the mountain of articles that needed fixed or axed. The next few days were spent in the a similar fashion; pardon the pun – I spent hours on the phone to Tanya and Kate, speaking mainly about our concerns for the issue, but finding time for some all-important girl talk with my best friends. I really missed them.

As the weekend drew near I found myself thinking about Jasper more and more. I was so grateful for what he'd done at the party and I kept thinking that I'd not had much of a chance to thank him. I sent a text to Rosalie asking for his address; I figured I'd stop by with some homemade cookies as a thank-you.  
"What exactly are you thanking him for, darling?" Mom asked as she stirred the cookie mix. I wanted to thank the man, not poison him, so I was sitting on the counter filing my nails as mom whipped up a batch of her best.  
"Oh…when I wasn't feeling well at the party…he came outside and just stood with me and talked while I got some air." It wasn't a complete lie.  
"That was very kind of him. You could do a lot worse than a young man like him, Alice."

"Mom…I'm not ready to date anyone yet…" I sighed softly, looking down at my newly perfect manicure.  
"Sweetheart it's been two months, you have to try to move past James. I know you still care about him…"

I nodded, letting her think she was right. She didn't need to know how that night had changed everything .She didn't need to know anything. It would only upset her.  
"Well whenever you are ready, that Jasper is quite a catch." She winked, spooning the mix into a baking tray and placing it into the oven as I rolled my eyes.  
"Mom…"

Jasper had Ava, and some baggage of his own that Rosalie had only alluded to in passing. I highly doubted he was any more ready for anything than I was.


	13. In Sickness and in Health

**Sorry about the wait for this one! Life as usual is too busy for my liking, but I've quit one of my 3 jobs, so hopefully I'll have more time on my hands! I have a longer chapter for y'all this time round to say THANK YOU for all being so awesome - so without further ado, here it is!**

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**Alice**

My mom made the most incredible cookies, and as I drove them over to Jasper's I had to fight the urge to pull over and take one from the container I'd placed them in. I silently thanked the auto-shop for having my car serviced as quickly as they had; having my beautiful baby back was distracting me from the baked goodies.

Jasper's place was easy to find from the text I'd received from Rosalie, but as I pulled into the driveway I felt a little awkward for just dropping in unannounced. Rosalie had said that Jasper had the week off since his students were studying for their midterms, but perhaps he'd taken Ava away for a few days. I came to the quick and obvious realisation that I wouldn't know until I rang the doorbell.

I noticed the lack of immediate noise as I shivered slightly in the cool air. Just as I turned around to head back to my car the door finally opened. I gasped. It was Jasper, but his usually bright eyes looked tired, and his forehead glistened slightly with sweat. He coughed harshly, confirming my analysis. He was sick. Suddenly I felt like a complete tool for showing up unannounced.  
"Jasper I'm sorry…I should have called or something…" I stammered. He held one hand up to silence me and another to his mouth as he coughed again.  
"It's fine…" He shivered against the cold outside air as he opened the door a little wider.  
"Come on in."

I nodded, quickly closing the door behind myself to keep the cold air out. I followed Jasper into his spacious living room. The apartment was more like a house, given the size and location. I took a seat on one of the comfy chairs opposite the couch as I realised just how at home I already felt. My eyes glanced back to poor Jasper. He looked exhausted as he nibbled on one of the cookies.  
"These are great." He spoke tiredly, taking a sip of juice. I shrugged, tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear.  
"Thanks. Actually my mom made them. I'm a really crappy baker but I wanted to find a way to thank you for what you did the other day. I really appreciate it."

He smiled weakly, easing himself back onto the couch.  
"Well I appreciate that you didn't want to poison me. Is that why you stopped by? Just to say thanks?" He seemed genuinely curious.

I nodded again.  
"I guess. I'm sorry I didn't call or anything. I didn't realise you weren't feeling good."

He frowned a little, waving it off.  
"I'm ok. Just need to catch up on a little sleep; that's all." I might have believed him had his denial not been punctuated by yet another cough, and a rub of his nose. I was usually one to shy away from anyone who was sick, but Jasper just looked so out of it that all I wanted to do was help him.  
"Well you just close your eyes, I'll make us both some tea. Do you take milk?" I asked, standing and making my way towards the kitchen as he nodded tiredly.

His kitchen wasn't hard to navigate around; it was evident he was pretty neat for a guy. I made the tea quickly, but found Jasper sleeping when I returned. His mouth was open and he was snoring slightly, but he still looked so adorable that I had to smile. I sat the tea gently on the table so that I would not wake him.

All efforts were in vain when a few moments later I heard a cry coming from upstairs. Jasper's eyes shot open and within seconds he was up from the couch and halfway up the stairs. I followed, finding my way to Ava by following her loud cries. When I got there Jasper had her cradled to his chest, rubbing her back as she cried.  
"Sshh babygirl, I've got you. I've got you."  
"It hurts Daddy, make it stop hurting…" She wailed, clinging to Jasper as harsh coughs shook her small frame. Jasper sat with her on the side of the bed, pulling her from his embrace for a few moments.  
"What hurts, Ava?" He asked, his face awash with confusion. It was clear to me that she was also sick; but from the sound of her cries and the way she was rubbing her ear signified an inner ear infection. I quickly came to sit close to Jasper, running my hand soothingly over her back.  
"Your ear hurts, sweetheart?" Jasper questioned, wiping the matted hair from her face. The poor thing was radiating heat.  
"You didn't tell me that before your nap, princess."  
"It didn't hurt before my nap!" She wailed.

Jasper sighed, hugging her close again.  
"I'll call my dad. I think she's developed an ear infection."  
Jasper looked at me as I spoke, frowning a little.  
"How do you know?"  
"I have a doctor as I father and an older brother who was prone to ear infections when we were little. Trust me, I've seen my share." I smiled softly, grabbing for my phone and calling my Dad's cell.

"Dr. Cullen."  
"Hey Dad, it's me. Listen I'm with Jasper and Ava; I think she's got an ear infection, the poor thing is miserable – can you come over as soon as possible?"  
"Oh the poor sweetheart. I'm just leaving my office now, text me the address and I'll be there in 30minutes, tops."

We said our goodbyes and I hung up, carefully texting him the address as Jasper looked to me.  
"Thanks."  
"You're welcome." I smiled, turning my attention to Ava, who seemed calmer for the time being.  
"Ava honey, my Mom made some awesome cookies. How about we go downstairs and have one?"

Her little face lit up considerably, so I took that as a 'yes' and made my way back downstairs as Jasper followed with Ava. I returned to the kitchen, removing the plastic lid and handing Ava a cookie. Jasper kissed her cheek as she took it.  
"What do you say, Ava?"  
"Thank you."  
"You're welcome sweetheart. Do you want some juice too?" She nodded.  
"I'll grab you some, why doesn't your daddy take you to the couch and get you settled, okay?"

Neither argued with me; I could tell Jasper felt almost every bit as crappy as Ava, but he had to be there for her. I vowed in that moment to help as best I could.

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**Jasper**

I felt like shit. A day or so after Rose's birthday party Ava was complaining of being tired well before her bedtime, so I'd put her down earlier than usual and not thought much of it. The following morning she'd woken with a slight fever, and had only worsened through the day. It was becoming increasingly apparent that she'd come down with the awful flu that was circulating, and all I could do was dose the poor thing up with Tylenol and wait it out. I'd let her sleep in my bed; she woke up every few hours because she was coughing so badly, so when I started to feel exhausted the next day I thought it was just lack of sleep. Then came the chills and the hacking cough. Yes, I felt like shit.

Ava had been asleep for about two hours when the doorbell rang. I must have been drifting in and out of sleep myself because it took me a few minutes to actually realise that someone was at the door. Coughing harshly, I made my way to the door, ready to kick some ass if it was a salesperson.

It wasn't. Her back was turned like she'd been ready to walk away, but she stopped and turned again, gasping almost inaudibly when she saw me. I must have looked a sight. Her plump, pink lips parted as she gasped, then closed again as she bit nervously on her lip. I tried in vain to keep the impending cough at bay, but it tore through my chest anyway, probably taking some of my lung with it. Had I mentioned that I felt like shit?

"Jasper I'm sorry…I should have called or something…" She stammered, unsure of whether to stay or go. I didn't want her to feel like she had to go, but I was in no position to say anything at that moment as I coughed harshly again, holding my hand out to silence her.  
"It's fine." I managed, shivering involuntarily against the frosty air. Alice must have been freezing, so I did what only a gentleman would do.  
"Come on in."

I noticed the container of cookies she was holding, and as I did she smiled softly, removing the lid and handing me one as she sat on the comfy chair. I nibbled it as I lowered myself onto the couch. Part of me knew I was hungry, but the rest of me felt too shitty to care.  
"These are great."

She blushed softly as she cast her eyes down to an imaginary thread on jeans.

"Thanks. Actually my mom made them. I'm a really crappy baker but I wanted to find a way to thank you for what you did the other day. I really appreciate it."  
I remembered all too well. Though I'd not much liked Alice Cullen before the incident at Rose's party my heart had gone out to her when I saw her in that state. I'd come to realise that she was just as lost as me, and in desperate need of some reassurance.

"Well I appreciate that you didn't want to poison me. Is that why you stopped by? Just to say thanks?" I was curious; I thought she'd maybe thank me in passing when we'd seen each other again – it surprised me in a good way to know that she'd come here just for this.

"I guess. I'm sorry I didn't call or anything. I didn't realise you weren't feeling good."

That was putting it mildly, but I shrugged. I didn't care about how I felt. Not when Ava was sick.

"I'm ok. Just need to catch up on a little sleep; that's all." I must have sounded completely unconvincing; coughing into my sleeve and resisting the urge to sneeze as I claimed I was ok. Alice didn't look convinced either, but didn't push me. Instead she nodded, a smile stretching her beautiful features.

"Well you just close your eyes, I'll make us both some tea. Do you take milk?" I nodded in response as she got up and headed for the kitchen. I was too exhausted to do anything else. I had to admit; it felt good to just lie back on the couch while someone made me some tea.

Ava's cry jolted me from my fevered sleep and before I could even glance at Alice I was halfway up the stairs. She followed closely behind me however. Ava was sitting upright in my bed, her cheeks red and her hair matted with sweat. Her piercing cries worried me because earlier she'd felt crappy but nothing like this. I held her close to me, sighing as I realised she was still running a high fever. I rubbed gently over her back as she coughed.  
"Sshh babygirl, I've got you. I've got you."

I glanced to Alice, who stood in the doorway with a sympathetic frown. She seemed to assess Ava before coming to sit with us.  
"It hurts Daddy, make it stop hurting…"

She was in pain? I'd assumed she was crying because she didn't feel too good, but to know that my baby was in that much pain to make her howl like that nearly broke my heart.  
"What hurts, Ava?" I questioned quickly, looking her over. She continued to sob as she tugged gently at her ear.

"Your ear hurts, sweetheart?" She nodded, her cries triggering another fit of coughs. I held her closer. She was so warm.

"You didn't tell me that before your nap, princess."  
"It didn't hurt before my nap!" She wailed.

Alice suddenly spoke from beside me.  
"I'll call my dad. I think she's developed an ear infection."

An ear infection? How would she know?

"How do you know?" I asked, frowning inwardly at how rude I must have sounded. Alice merely smiled, shrugging off my condescending tone.

"I have a doctor as I father and an older brother who was prone to ear infections when we were little. Trust me, I've seen my share." She explained, taking out her cell and calling her Dad. I listened while she made the short call, thankful that Ava had calmed slightly.

Dr. Cullen would be here soon and I was already anxious. I couldn't bear to see my baby in so much pain. Alice led the way downstairs and offered Ava one of Mrs. Cullen's amazing cookies. That seemed to help, and for that I was glad.

True to his word, Dr. Cullen arrived in less than thirty minutes. Alice ushered him inside and introduced us.  
"Dad, this is Jasper, and his daughter, Ava. Jasper, this is my Dad, Carlisle."

I shook his hand as I hoisted Ava onto my hip.  
"Pleasure to meet you Dr. Cullen. Thanks so much for coming out to see Ava."

Ava perked up a little at the sound of her name, but her head was still sitting limply on my shoulder and she was still rubbing at her ear.  
"Hey little lady. Your ear hurts?" Dr. Cullen asked, leaning in to take a closer look at her. Ava nodded glumly.  
"How about you come sit on my lap and we'll have a good look, ok?"

Ava clung to me as her eyes widened.  
"Am I gonna get a shot?"

Dr. Cullen chuckled softly.  
"No, sweetheart. Just some medicine, I promise."

To my surprise Ava squirmed from my grasp and into the arms of Alice's father without needing any further reassurance from me. I smiled a little, watching him carefully with her. I'd heard he was a good doctor, but he was fantastic with children too. I'd met quite a few paediatricians in my time who'd obviously picked the wrong profession. Dr. Cullen was great with Ava though; listening intently as she told him how she felt, and taking his time to look her over properly.

A short while later Dr. Cullen scooped Ava from his lap and placed her back in my arms where she snuggled in contently.  
"Unfortunately Alice was right, she _does_ have an ear infection. Kids are more prone to them because of the small airways in their ears so any time they have a cold or a flu subsequent infections can develop."

I nodded, rubbing over Ava's back.  
"What can I do?" I'd do _anything_ to make my angel feel better.  
"I'll prescribe her some antibiotics; she'll start to feel much better in a few days but I want her to finish the course."  
"Absolutely. Thank you so much, Dr. Cullen. And thanks for coming out here, we're very grateful." I extended my hand to him and he shook it firmly.  
"You're very welcome Jasper, and please, call me Carlisle. I'd also like to encourage _you_ to get as much rest as possible; you're not much good to your daughter unwell."

I nodded.

"I will, Carlisle. Thanks again."

I yawned deeply as he left, gazing over towards Alice.  
"I suppose we should get some rest. Thanks for the cookies…and for calling your Dad." I managed, the yawn triggering a hacking round of coughing. Alice's brows pulled down in a frown as snorted delicately.  
"You think I'm going anywhere? I'm going to go to the pharmacy to get Ava's meds and some things for you too, then I'm coming back here and you're both going to do as I say, is that clear?"

Ava giggled softly from my shoulder.  
"Clear!"

Alice nodded curtly, leaning close and pecking Ava's cheek with those beautiful lips.  
"Ok, I'll be back soon beautiful. I want you to take your daddy up to bed, ok? I have a feeling he'll be a much crabbier patient than you are, nugget."

I rolled my eyes, swatting her away good-heartedly.  
"Fine, fine. Go, woman."

Despite the fever and her ear Ava was in relatively good spirits as I tucked us both into my bed. I was going to try to keep her awake until Alice returned with her prescription, that way we could get a good dose into her and she'd sleep much more soundly. I could feel my own eyes getting increasingly heavy however as Ava's chatter slowed. She curled herself onto my chest, her hot, tiny body finding comfort on mine. Her breathing soon evened out; her little mouth open and snoring gently. Poor baby. I ran my fingers gently through her hair as I willed myself to stay awake.

"_Jasper? Jasper…I need you to wake up for me. Can you hear me?"_

_Her breath was hot and sweet against my face, allowing me to soak in her intoxicating scent. Those large, expressive eyes of hers gazed at me longingly while those plump lips danced inches from mine as she smiled. She was clad in a tight-fitting nurse's costume, complete with hat and stethoscope. She was breathtaking.  
"Jasper…wake up."  
I was awake. I was just sitting here drinking her in; a vision in white with her angelic face gazing at me.  
"Jasper…I have something for you."_

"_Mmm, give it to me."_

_She giggled.  
"Well it's for Ava. I have her medicine. Jasper, wake up."_

Ava. My eyes shot open, startling Alice. She stood before me with a bag from the pharmacy, dressed in her jeans and sweater. She frowned, reaching to touch my forehead.  
"Are you ok? You seem to be burning up."

Yea. Tell me about it.

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**Please review and help Jasper and Ava to feel better! :) x**


	14. A Realisation

**Sorry for the delay guys, like I've always said I don't like to rush updates just to get them out there, I'd rather feel like they're ready to be set free! :P If you forgive me then please leave me some love! :)**

**As usual, I only own my plot. Oh and Ava. SM's not having her! :P**

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**Alice**

Jasper fell asleep again as soon as he'd given Ava her medicine. He seemed suddenly shy around me. I wasn't sure why, but I guessed he didn't really like people intruding in on him and his daughter when they were sick. I understood, but they were both just so miserable that I didn't have the heart to leave them.

I was curled up on the couch to carry on with some work when I heard a sniffle from the stairs. Ava stood, still half asleep in her Barbie pyjamas, rubbing at her ear.  
"Hey princess…" I put my work to the side and opened my arms for her as she shuffled towards me.  
"Isn't your medicine working?" I asked, placing my hand to her cheeks and forehead. She didn't feel as warm now, fortunately.  
"A little, I guess. My ear still hurts." She huffed, pulling herself into my lap and snuggling in.  
"I'm sorry, bug. The medicine will make it go away soon, I promise."

She nodded, her sleepy eyes gazing up at me. She smiled softly.  
"What is it, little one?"  
"Are you going to be my new mommy?"

Her question caught me so completely off-guard that I almost dropped her.  
"You – your new mommy?"

"Yea. You're not family like Gram or Auntie Rosie, but you're here. My old mommy is never here. Are you going to be my new one?"

The poor, sweet angel. I didn't even know where to begin with answering that.  
"Your old mommy?"  
"She doesn't want me or Daddy. I don't know why she doesn't, but I think that's why Daddy doesn't like people sometimes. He's scared that if he does then one day they won't want us either."

She was incredibly observant for a four year old.  
"You know I think you're right. People get scared to let other people in because if they leave it's sad. I'm not going to leave, Ava; I promise that any time you need me, I will be here, ok?"

Her little face brightened as she wrapped her arms tightly around my neck.  
"Ok."

* * *

**Jasper**

It was a little after 6am when I woke up. I was somewhat surprised not to find Ava curled next to me. I groaned softly as I stood. Every inch of my body ached. Stupid flu. My head was pounding as I padded down the hall to Ava's room. She was there, fast asleep, and seemingly peaceful.

A noise from downstairs startled me until I remembered what happened last night. Alice. Staying to take care of us. That nurse's outfit. I rubbed tiredly at my eyes. That part had been dreamed up by my fever-addled brain.

She flitted around the kitchen, pouring two cups of coffee and spreading a thin layer of butter onto some toast as she hummed quietly to herself. I couldn't help but smile. She really was stunning.

She gasped as she noticed my presence, her hand clutching at her chest.  
"Gosh, you scared me. I didn't think you'd be awake. I was just coming to check on you. How're you feeling?"

I was going to offer a noncommittal response when my nose betrayed me. I sneezed harshly, annoying my throat enough that I then started to cough. Alice winced, passing me a steaming mug.  
"That good, huh? Bless you."

"Thanks. Did Ava wake up during the night? She wasn't in my bed when I woke up."

A strange look passed over Alice's features just briefly before she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.  
"Yeah, she woke up around 10, her ear was still hurting a little so she just snuggled with me on the couch. I took her back upstairs once she was out and put her in her own bed so you could sleep."  
"She didn't cry? Ask for me?"  
"No, she didn't. We just talked."  
"About…?" I asked, taking a sip of coffee as we moved into the living room.  
"She was talking to me about her Mom…" Alice began hesitantly.

"Oh God…" I sighed, running my fingers through my hair.  
"I didn't mean to pry, she just wanted to talk." Alice explained, looking nervous.  
"No I'm not mad…was she upset?"

"She didn't seem to be, she seemed to accept that her mother wasn't a part of her life anymore. She knows she's got people to turn to."

I nodded. I'd have to talk things out with Ava, make sure she really was ok.

"I told her I'd be here."

Alice spoke so quietly that for a moment I wasn't sure that she actually had.  
"I'm glad, she'll be happy you're still here when she wakes up." I smiled, taking another sip from my mug.

Alice chewed softly on her lip.  
"No…I mean…after. Whenever. You've got an incredibly sweet little girl up there, Jasper, and I'll be there for her whenever she needs someone. If she wants me, that is. I know she's got Rose and your Mom. I just wanted you to know."

A soft blush coloured her cheeks. She was so endearing it made me smile.  
"What?"

"Nothing, you're just really beautiful when you're happy, that's all." Shit, that had been forward of me. I was about to back-peddle when the grin on her face grew.  
"Thanks. I'd almost forgotten what it felt like."

"Yeah I know the feeling…when I left Maria I just…it's not that I still loved her, it was just that I didn't think things were ever going to get better. Now they finally are."

"I'm glad, Jasper. You deserve to be happy. You both do."

"So do you, Alice."

Her eyes met mine as she lifted her mug into her hands.

Maybe there was hope for us yet.


	15. Dinner Date

**Hello everyone! :) I have an update for y'all, I'm sorry about the wait. The normal disclaimers apply - enjoy and review, please :)**

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**Jasper**

Ava and I were feeling much better by the next week, which sadly meant I was back at work. My mom was watching Ava during the day; they both preferred that to the college's day care program.

By the time I got home Momma already had dinner on the go, and it smelled delicious.  
"Oh son, you're home!" She smiled, wiping her hands on her apron. She was making spaghetti.

"Daddy!"

A flash of blonde curls came hurtling towards me, crushing her tiny arms around my legs. I bent down, picking her up and kissing her cheeks repeatedly.

"Did you and Grams have a good day?"  
"Yes! We made cookies, and did finger painting, _and_ we're making sketti."

"Wow, sounds like you had a busy day. I missed you." I rubbed over her back. I wanted her to know that it wasn't easy for me to leave her everyday. I thought about her all of the time. I wondered how she was doing and if she missed me too. Her little fists grabbed at my shirt as she smiled.  
"I missed you too, Daddy."

I smiled, resting my lips against her forehead as my mom spoke.  
"Oh we're having a guest over for dinner. Your friend, Alice."

Ava beamed, and I looked confused. Mom explained.  
"She called when we were having lunch; she wanted to make sure you and Ava were feeling better, so I invited her over for some dinner. I hope you don't mind."

Mind? I wasn't sure I did. Alice had been really good to Ava and I last week and my daughter seemed to like her.  
"Sure. No problem. Let me just go and get changed. Ava, can you help Grams set the table please?"

Ava nodded and wriggled to get down as I headed upstairs to take a quick shower before Alice arrived. It sounded like a completely innocent dinner invite, but I found myself unnaturally nervous. It might have had something to do with the fevered dream I'd had whilst I'd been sick. Imagining Alice in a nurse's outfit, leaning over me…I blinked, washing the soap from my body.

This was going to be a long evening.

**Alice**

"You look lovely, Alice."

My dad smiled as I descended the stairs. I was wearing tight fitting jeans and a deep red wool sweater.  
"Thanks, Dad."  
"Are you going somewhere special?"

He was just in from work. Settling his briefcase and coat down at the breakfast bar, Mom approached him from behind.  
"She's got a dinner date with Jasper." She smiled, snaking her arms around his waist.  
"Mom! You are incorrigible! It's not a dinner date, I'm just eating dinner over there with Jasper and Ava and his mom. I called to see how they were doing and she invited me. I felt rude saying no, besides, they're a really nice family."

Mom chuckled, turning her attention back to the dinner as Dad spoke.  
"Are they recuperating satisfactorily? Please check that Ava is finishing her round of antibiotics, even if her symptoms have dissipated…"

I smiled and nodded, waving my hand.  
"I will, Dad, I got it. I have to go, or I'll be late. Have a good evening, guys."

I tensed against the cold outside air as I hurried into my car, tossing my purse on the passenger's seat. I started the engine, turning on the CD player as I pulled out of the driveway. It was a short drive to Jasper's house, and as I pulled up behind his car I saw Ava waiting at the window. She beamed when she saw me and started knocking on the glass and waving. Despite the sub-zero temperatures I giggled, pressing my nose to the glass and pulling a face. I could hear her shriek with laughter and pull a face back at me before hearing Jasper's mom calling through.  
"Ava, let Alice in, it's freezing out there!"

I made my way to the porch as the door swung open. Tiny arms wrapped themselves around my legs.  
"You're here!"  
"That's right, missy. How're you doing, cutie? Still taking your medicine?" Ava frowned, her nose crinkling adorably.  
"Yes, I'm all better now but Daddy won't let me stop taking them 'til they're all gone."  
"That's good, you don't want to get sick again because you stopped taking them too soon."

"Speaking of sick, Ava let Alice in and close the door before we all catch our deaths!" Mrs. Whitlock chuckled as Ava relinquished her grasp and closed the door behind us.

"Hi, Mrs. Whitlock." I smiled politely as Ava locked her tiny hand into mine.  
"Please, dear, call me Savannah. And come inside and get warmed up! Would you like some tea, or coffee?"  
"No thanks, Savannah, I'm fine, honestly."

I felt a tug at my hand.  
"Alice, Gramma and I did finger painting today, you wanna see?"

"Sure! Lead the way." I smiled as she brought me to the breakfast bar. I couldn't help notice that the dining room table had been beautifully set for our meal, which, I was soon realising, smelled incredible.  
"What are we having for dinner? It smells insanely good."  
"Sketti! It's Gramma's special rec…repicy." She forrowed her brow adorably as she struggled with the word.  
"Recipe, cute stuff." I chuckled, running my fingers through her golden curls. "Now, where are these paintings of yours?"

Ava pointed to the numerous pieces of paper scattered cross the breakfast bar. Vivid colours and creative patterns adorned each sheet.  
"These are so pretty, Ava. I love the colours you used."

"Daddy! I didn't show you my paintings!"

I turned quickly as Jasper appeared in the doorway. He made his way over to Ava, looking at the pieces of paper.  
"Hi, Alice. Wow baby, these are beautiful! Should we put some on the fridge?"

Ava nodded and giggled as Jasper glanced to me again.  
"How've you been, Alice?" He asked, sticking the paintings to the refrigerator.  
"Good. I see you two are feeling better."

He smiled and nodded, kissing the top of Ava's head as she gazed up at the paintings. I adored watching them together.

Savannah's Spaghetti Bolognese was incredible. I helped myself to seconds as she smiled.  
"I don't quite know how you stay so thin, Alice. I think you might be able to out-eat Jasper."

I blushed as I tucked in to more. I didn't want to tell her about James; how the mere thought of him made me feel physically sick.  
"I've always been petite."  
"I'll say. I think Ava's gonna outgrow you in a few months." Jasper chuckled, cleverly leaning away as I swatted for his arm. He looked away somewhat shyly. It was progress. At least now he wasn't rude.

As we were finishing our food I noticed Ava's eyes beginning to droop.  
"I'll get this one ready for bed." Savannah spoke, scooping Ava from her chair.

"Mom I can do that, you've been watching her all day."  
"You know I don't mind, Jasper. You can clear up." She winked, rubbing over Ava's back as she yawned.  
"Say goodnight to Alice, little one."  
"Night Alice." Ava murmured, smiling tiredly as she snuggled into her grandmother's embrace.  
"Night sweetpea."

As I moved to clear the plates from the table I felt Jasper's hand on mine. My heart thrummed within my chest, so loudly I was almost certain that Jasper could hear it. I felt so lost. Why was I reacting like this? Why did it feel like I could barely breathe? I wasn't about to have a panic attack; I felt at ease with him, and that's what was scaring me, making my heart thud in my chest.

Jasper seemed completely oblivious to it as he removed his hand, smiling at me.

"Let me. You're my guest."


	16. A Proposal

**Another update! No, your eyes are not deceiving you - we are on Easter vacation at the moment, so I have plenty of time to write, for once! :) I do hope you enjoy, this chapter and leave me some love. The usual disclaimers apply - only the plot and Ava are mine ;)**

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**Alice**

A few days after having dinner with Jasper, there was a knock at the front door. Dad was at work and Mom was at the store. I abandoned my work and headed to greet whoever had dropped in on me. I grinned as I opened the door.  
"Emmett!"

He wrapped me in a huge, warm hug and followed me inside.  
"To what do I owe this pleasure?"

He shrugged as we made our way into the kitchen. Herbal tea for me, coffee for him.  
"I uh…want your opinion on something, sis."

As I looked at him closely, I noticed his usually jolly demeanor was a little forced.  
"Everything ok, Emm?"  
"Yea, yeah, everything's fine. Thanks." He lifted the coffee mug. It looked small in his giant hands. My mug of tea felt very large in comparison.

"You're not usually this quiet. If you're mad about something you've usually started to rant on by now, so I conclude that you're worried about something. Spill."  
"Can't keep anything from you, Pix, can I?" He grinned. I scrunched my nose and shook my head.

He dug into his pocket, pulling out a small, black box. He opened it, and nestled inside was a beautiful, square-cut diamond engagement ring. I gasped. I was quite literally speechless.  
"Oh my God."  
"It's too soon, isn't it? No, you think it's ugly. Too big? Too small? I'm a dude, I'm not cut out for this kinda stuff, Pix…" I shushed him, taking the box into my hands carefully.  
"The ring is perfect for her, Emmett. It's totally beautiful, and exactly the right size." I paused, looking at him.  
"You really love her, don't you?"

"More than anything! I'm just scared she'll think we're moving too fast. I mean we've not been living together for that long and what if it freaks her out?"

I shook my head.  
"Granted I don't know Rosalie as well as I'd like to, yet, but she strikes me as the type that goes for what she wants and gets it. She's not letting go of you, so my guess is she'll definitely say yes."

Emmett appeared visibly more relaxed as he tucked the box back into his pocket. This was obviously something he'd been thinking about for some time, and I hoped beyond all hope that she'd accept when he asked her.

"When are you planning to ask her?"  
"When it feels right, you know? I don't want to ask her to get all dressed up for some fancy-ass expensive meal and hide the ring in the dessert…that shit's too flashy. She's a simple girl at heart." He spoke reverently, a content smile creeping onto his face.  
"I'm thinking of just popping the question in bed to her one morning, or out in the garden in the evening. Something intimate, you know? Something that's ours."

I couldn't help the tears that pooled in my eyes as I heard him speak. I was so happy he'd found someone he loved so much, yet at the same time I was still harbouring so much hurt. That was the way I'd loved James. That's what I'd wanted for us. That's what I'd lost. I sniffed softly and blinked the tears back, smiling widely at my older brother.  
"I'm so happy for you, Emmett. Promise you'll call me after you ask her?"

"Course squirt. If she says no I'll need a place to hide my ass for a few days, and if she says yes I'm guessing she'll call you before I can even reach the phone." He chuckled, finishing off his coffee and standing to hug me once more. I wrapped my arms as far around his torso as they would go, nestling into his embrace. He pressed a kiss to the top of my head then walked towards the front door.  
"Thanks, Alice."

I nodded.  
"Anytime."

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**Jasper**

When I arrived home from work a couple of days later the house was quiet. The only noises I could hear were coming from upstairs, so after hanging up my coat I made my way up and into the bathroom, where I found Ava in the tub and my mother kneeling, gently working shampoo into Ava's hair.  
"Hey, it's my favourite girls."  
"Daddy!"  
"Careful, peanut, we don't want you to get shampoo in your eyes."

Ava froze, smiling widely.  
"Missed you, Daddy."  
"Missed you too, bug. Did you guys have a nice day?"

Ava nodded, remaining still as my mom rinsed the shampoo from her hair. Mom had a huge smile on her face that told me she'd had a very good day. I made a mental note to ask her about that once I'd put Ava to bed.

Putting Ava to bed was always my favourite part of the day. It was our time to talk about everything that had happened whilst I'd been at work, and it gave us a chance to talk about anything she wanted to. It was easy to tell when she was ready to fall asleep. Her eyelids became heavier and her words started to slur as she snuggled closer. It was the same each night and after she fell asleep I would always lay with her for just a little longer. She was such an angel, and even more so when she slept. My leg was beginning to cramp, so I dropped a kiss gently on her cheek as I slowly got up.

I found Mom curled on the couch with the newspaper. I settled myself next to her and took the paper from her hands. She frowned.  
"Jasper…"

"You've got something to tell me, haven't you?"

Her features softened as she took the newspaper from my hands and placed it onto the coffee table.  
"Emmett came by today."

"Is Rose ok?"

Mom chuckled.  
"I'd have told you by now if she wasn't. No, according to Emmett she's fine, they're both _very _happy. So happy in fact that he asked for my blessing."

She grinned, waiting for the penny to drop for me.  
"He's going to propose!"

I was floored.  
"Isn't it a little…I don't know…soon?"

Mom simply shrugged.  
"They're both very happy, Jasper. Emmett is a wonderful, kind and loving man. After everything Rose has been thr –"

I cut her off quickly. It pained me to think about that dark chapter of our lives.  
"Ok, ok. You're right. He is pretty great, and does make her ridiculously happy."

The more I thought about it the more optimistic I was for my sister. More than anyone she deserved to be happy, and I could tell that she would be with Emmett.  
"You think she'll say yes?"

"I _know_ she will, Jasper."


	17. The Move

**A/N - Hello my lovely, loyal readers! :) It's time for an update! If you have me on author alert you'll see that I've lost my mind and began ANOTHER chaptered-fic [In the Bones fandom, sorry to y'all who aren't into it!] but I should hopefully be able to keep on top of updating everything! I've ordered the Twilight Journals from Amazon so I plan to sneak them into work and jot notes for everything in there! Aaaaaanyways...I ramble...**

**As usual, I own nothing recognisable. Please leave me a review and let me know what you think! :)**

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**Jasper**

Two weeks after Mom told me about Emmett's plan to propose, I got a call from Rosalie, who sounded over the moon. He'd actually done it. I talked to her for a long time, listening as she described the proposal in detail. She'd arrived home from work to find Emmett in the kitchen cooking her favorite meal, and the lounge had been filled with candles. He'd spread a blanket, and as they were finishing their food he'd taken the ring from his pocket and asked her. That was all I could understand through her giggling and crying. I was sure I had a shit-eating grin on my face – I was so happy for her. Ava danced around me as I spoke on the phone, anxious to know what I was so happy about. I handed the phone to her and she took it in her tiny hands, her face brightening when she heard Rose talk.  
"Married! Like a princess? Do you get to wear a really pretty dress? Do _I _get to wear a really pretty dress?"

The questions kept on coming, even when Rose handed the phone over to Emmett. I had to admit, the guy was great with kids. Ava giggled and listened to him, before handing the phone back to me.  
"Hey man, I just wanted to thank you and your mom, and tell you to watch out for your invitation in the post. We wanna get married sooner rather than later. Why wait, huh?"  
"True, Emm. Congrats man, I'll call you guys when we get our invitation."

As I was putting Ava to bed my cell flashed to signal an incoming text message. I picked it up, my eyes widening in surprise. It was from Alice.

_Did they call you yet? I'm about ready to burst from excitement! :D A x_

I smiled. I could just imagine an excited Alice. She'd be practically vibrating on the spot. I quickly replied.

_They sure did. We should plan them some kinda party, you know, to celebrate. Brother of the bride and sister of the groom and all that. Let me know. J x_

A little after Ava was settled, my cell buzzed again.

_Sounds great – I'm actually moving into my own apartment this weekend – maybe you could spare me some manly strength and we can talk about planning something? Feel free to bring Ava :) A x_

I replied to her message, telling her I'd be happy to help. I would ask Mom if she didn't mind watching Ava, but truthfully, I was intrigued to bring Ava with me. Despite my initial dislike of Alice and Ava's closeness, I felt it was important for Ava to build as many relationships as possible. I resolved to ask Ava what she would rather do, letting her know that if she came to Alice's new place she'd have to help us unpack.

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**Alice**

I'd been living with my parents for months. I adored them and I knew they didn't mind my presence, but I was beginning to feel like I needed more of my own space. The apartment I'd shared with James had been rented in his name, so I had no financial reasons stopping me from finding a place of my own. What worried me slightly was all in my head. I still had nightmares about that night; I still awoke in a panic sometimes and I wasn't sure that I wanted to live on my own. What I did know was that I'd never find out until I took the plunge. Mom and Dad were more than supportive of my decision. Mom even came with me to view some apartments. I'd finally settled on one on the outskirts of Forks, near the La Push Reservation. It was only ten minutes from Mom and Dad's and another five from Jasper or Rose. It boasted beautiful views and three bedrooms, one large and two rather small. I figured I'd need one to set up as my office, and another as a guest room for when Tanya and Kate would inevitably come to visit.

The furniture was being delivered a week after I'd signed the lease agreement, and although the delivery guys were contracted to build it up, I knew I'd want to move things around until I was completely satisfied with how it looked. I had planned to ask Emmett for his help, but due to their new engagement I didn't want to disrupt their time together. I was glad Jasper had agreed to help me, and I hoped he would bring Ava with him.

On the day of the furniture arrival I was up early. It drives me nuts how delivery companies can't ever be more specific than 'between 7am and noon'. It would be just my luck if they showed at 7am and I was still asleep, so I'd dragged myself from my makeshift blow-up mattress bed moments before 7am and made a large pot of coffee. My efforts were rewarded when the doorbell rang just before 7:30 – the guys were in, done and gone by 10am. Now came the task of unpacking.

The doorbell sounded again, pulling me from darkness. I quickly realized I'd fallen asleep on my new couch, and as I checked my phone I saw it was approaching noon, and I had a number of missed calls. All from Jasper. I was guessing it was him at the door now. As the doorbell sounded again I glanced down at what I was wearing. Sweatpants and a camisole. There weren't any mirrors up yet either so I had no idea what state my hair or complexion was in as I opened the door to Jasper. Ava stood beside him, beaming up at me and giggling.  
"You look like you just waked up, Alice."

Jasper chuckled and scooped Ava into his arms as I blushed, running a hand through my hair.  
"Yeah, the delivery guys came really early. I guess I fell asleep after they left. Come on in, you guys."

Ava struggled against Jasper's grasp.  
"Whoa peanut, we have to take your shoes off first, we don't want to get Alice's new house all dirty, do we?"

Ava shook her head, suddenly very serious as she let Jasper place her down and remove her mini Uggs. She hopped up as soon as her shoes were off.  
"Wow, this place is great, Alice." Jasper grinned, helping Ava back to her feet.  
"It's naked!" Ava giggled, referring to the lack of anything but structural furniture.  
"It sure is! That's why you and your daddy are here. Do you want to help us figure out where things are going to go?"

Ava nodded in excitement. Jasper assumed that I was humoring her, but I liked most of her ideas, and she was so adorable ordering us around with all of the boxes. My office was the first to be set up – I'd bought a desk, and my files all stored easily on the shelves that we mounted. We had fixed up most of the upstairs when Ava announced that she was hungry. I suddenly felt anxious about being left in my new surroundings by myself again. I thought that Jasper would insist that they left in order for him to fix Ava some dinner. Instead he pressed a kiss to her hair and looked to me.  
"How about we order some Chinese, huh?"

I could feel my anxiety slowly starting to ebb away, and as Ava scrambled to find the folder of takeout menus Jasper moved closer.  
"You ok? You seem a little…overwhelmed."

"Yea, of course. It's just daunting, you know? A new place and all."

I knew Jasper would understand. He'd moved here alone with a young kid. It wasn't the same kind of baggage that I carried, but I couldn't imagine the burden he must have felt.

As Ava came running back with a bunch of menus and sat herself in my lap, I glanced to Jasper. He was smiling. I was beginning to think that this could be the start of a beautiful friendship.


	18. Confessions

**I'm sorry for the wait, dear readers! Something has possessed me to write 3 chaptered-fics at the one time...so yes, I'm insane! Also, I'm headed off to Scotland for the week but I WILL try to write/make notes when I'm there and update more frequently when I come back. **

**Anyways, thanks for your patience, and I really, really want to hear people's thoughts on this one. To warn you, this chapter deals with subject matter that may be upsetting to some readers. This story WILL have a happy ending though, I promise you. **

**Ok, on with the update! Usual disclaimers apply. I WISH I owned Twilight!**

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**Alice**

I had been so appreciative of Jasper's help in moving everything around, and as they were getting ready to leave that evening Ava begged to be brought back the following day to help some more. Jasper's face fell and he dropped to Ava's level.  
"I gotta work tomorrow, sweetheart. You'll be staying with Gramma for the day. We can come at the weekend and help Alice some more."

I was happy with the arrangement but the tears that quickly pooled in Ava's eyes told us that she was less than satisfied.  
"Can I stay with Auntie Rosie and Uncle Emmett? Emm said they were gonna help Alice. Please, Daddy? Please?"

Jasper gazed up to me before addressing Ava. I nodded, letting him know that it was ok with me as long as it was ok with Emmett and Rose.

Jasper straightened up, getting his jacket on as Ava stood waiting.  
"I'll send you a message later, let you know for sure."

"Sure thing. See you guys later."

The door clicked shut quietly behind them and the silence enveloped me once more. I made my way through the house, turning on all of the lights and closing the curtains Jasper and I had put up a few hours ago. Sleeping in an unfamiliar environment again took a lot of getting used to. As much as I'd wanted to give my parents their space again I was still anxious in the new place.

I made myself some tea after I'd gotten ready for bed, curling up in my new bed as my phone beeped. It was a message from Jasper.

_Sorry, I know it's late. Rose n Emm will bring her 2 urs if it's still ok. J._

I quickly texted my reply.

_Don't worry, just headed to bed. It's still fine. A. _

I tucked my phone under my pillow as I set my empty mug on the bedside table. I curled into the soft, warm bedding as I felt sleep begin to claim me.

_There were loud, uneven footsteps approaching me. The bedroom door slammed and I was suddenly alert. He was angry. He was always angry these days. In the days immediately following the miscarriage I assumed everything would return to normal. We were both devastated, hurting. We sought comfort in each other, but as the weeks drew on the comfort turned into resentment. We lashed out at each other. Each argument, every spiteful word spoken replayed in my head as he approached the bed. He'd been drinking. It wasn't uncommon. _

_I tried my best to ignore him, to curl back into a ball and pretend that I was asleep. It was futile. His hands grabbed at me. He was too strong. I was powerless. He said nothing, but I knew he was trying to regain what we'd lost. I remained as still as possible as the shock and hurt pulsed through me. I squeezed my eyes shut in the darkness, and as quickly as it had started it was over. He lapsed into a deep sleep, as I lay awake. I tried in vain to stop the tremors that shook my body, biting down on my lip to silence the tears. _

My body jerked awake quickly, my senses on high alert as I familiarised myself with my new surroundings. My lungs sucked in as much air as they could as my brain fought to rid itself of the awful memory. It took me a few moments to realise what had awakened me, but as I heard the thumping again I knew it was the front door. Emmett. Rose. Ava. I brushed my fingers through my hair as I took a calming breath. I tossed a cardigan over my shorts and camisole as I moved quickly to get the door.

The first thing I noticed was Emmett's frown. My brother was usually so jovial so to see him unhappy was disconcerting. He moved from Rosalie and Ava the moment I opened the door all the way.  
"What happened?" His hands touched the tops of my arms gently, and I suddenly realised that his worried expression was in response to what I obviously still looked like after my terrorising dream.  
"Nothing…the door just woke me up, gave me a fright. I'm fine." I pushed a weak smile in his direction as I glanced to Ava.  
"Morning, little one."

Ava waved as Rose helped her to remove her shoes. Straightening up and removing her own flats, Rose touched Emmett's arm.  
"Honey, could you get Ava a drink from the kitchen and let her give you a tour?"

Ava squealed, quickly taking Emmett's hand and leaving Rose and I in front of the door. Her hand grazed gently at my arm.  
"Can I see the upstairs?"

I nodded as Rosalie followed. As we ascended the stairs she took a fleeting look into the rooms and as soon as she had ascertained which was mine, she took my hand and tugged me inside, closing the door behind us.  
"Rose…"  
"It was more than the knocking. It wasn't us waking you up that's got you freaked, was it?"

I wanted to protest. My mouth opened but I couldn't bring myself to speak except to ask her.  
"How did you know?"

Rosalie glanced towards the closed door, her normally beautiful and confident demeanour marked with worry and pain. She seemed to collect herself a little and took a calm breath as she sat next to me on the bed.  
"When I was in high school I met a boy called Royce King." She said his name as if it were poison.

"His family were rich, he was handsome, and I was vain. Every girl wanted to be Royce King's girlfriend. I was the lucky one." Her tone denoted anything but luck.

"He was amazingly sweet and protective of me, always telling other guys to back off and constantly holding me close wherever we were…"

To my surprise I saw tears swimming in Rose's eyes. I placed my hand instinctively over hers.  
"My parents had thrown me an incredibly lavish and over the top sixteenth birthday party, and I got a call from Royce to meet him when it was done. My parents had already gone to bed so I decided to ignore my curfew and sneak out to meet him. We drove out to a spot in the woods that Royce had talked about…" Her voice trailed off as she chewed at her lip.  
"He raped me, Alice. He wanted to have sex but I was still a virgin and I didn't want to lose it in the back of some car. He said he was going to get it one way or another."

Her candid confession floored me. Rosalie was perhaps the strongest person I knew.  
"Rose I'm so sorry…"

She shook her head.  
"I didn't tell you because I wanted your pity. I told you because I've been there. That terrified look in your eyes when you opened the door to us? That panic attack after someone broke a glass at my party? I may not know you all that well, but I can guess why you moved back to Forks so quickly. You want to tell me?"

I'd done so well to hide it, from everyone. Mom, Dad, my colleagues at Cosmo…could everyone see what Rosalie could? Had my carefully constructed façade been for nothing? Tears stung at my eyes and I felt Rose's grip on my hand tighten.  
"Have you even told anyone?" She asked gently.

I shook my head. It wasn't a burden that I wanted anyone else to bear but her expression offered me solace and reassurance.  
"His name was James. We were together for almost 18months. Last Christmas I realised that I was pregnant. We were both so happy; we'd always talked about kids, and getting married…"

The happy moments that I'd had with James prior to my miscarriage suddenly flooded my mind and my voice caught in my throat. Rose knew what was coming, given the fact that if the pregnancy had been successful I'd have had a child now.  
"You lost the baby?"

"At seven weeks, yeah. He was so upset about it, I remember we did nothing but cry for nearly a week afterwards. Then…it all changed. It was like he resented me for losing the baby, like it was somehow _my _fault. He'd lose his temper over the littlest things. He would keep making us try to get back what we'd lost."

"And it didn't work?"

I shook my head.  
"I didn't want it to. I'd realised he wasn't the man that I thought he was before it all happened. There was no way I could bring a kid into the world after how he'd treated me. I told my friends a little of how he was acting and they said it was out of grief for losing the baby but I didn't care. I went to my doctor and asked to go back onto birth control."

I took a breath, surprised at how easily my story and tumbled out until now. Fresh tears burned at my eyes and I blinked furiously to keep them from escaping. Rose waited patiently for me to continue.  
"He was looking for his keys one evening in my bag when he found them." My voice was barely above a whisper now. "I'd never seen him so angry. He struck me across the face…" My hand moved subconsciously to the cheek that his fist had connected with.  
"I don't remember much. Just waking up in the dark. My head was pounding; I later realised he'd thrown me into the desk. The mirror in our hallway was shattered and I'd woken up covered in shards of it…"

The enormity of the situation finally seemed to take hold. Before now I'd used my secret as a means to distance myself from the actual event but now that I was verbalising it the pain felt just as fresh as it had months ago. Rosalie let go of my hand, only to wrap me in her arms, as the torrent of tears finally broke free.

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**please review :)**


	19. Preparations

**This is a short, pre-wedding update! The normal disclaimers apply. I do hope everyone enjoys!**

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**Alice**

Rosalie and I had grown much closer after our talk. Although I'd never planned to divulge that dark chapter of my life to anyone, the release had been cathartic. What Rosalie had been through was horrific, but to see her so happy with Emmett gave me hope that maybe one day I would be ready to find that too.

I was all moved in and settled into the new place, and Rose and Emmett's wedding was only a little over a month away. I'd insisted on helping Rose in any way that I could, and as a result I spent most evenings round her place with Emmett, sorting everything from invitations to flower arrangements.  
"Ava is going to make the cutest flower girl!" Rose squealed as she showed me a picture that she'd snapped on her phone during Ava's dress fitting earlier.  
"Oh my God she will – she's such a doll."

Emmett chuckled and handed Rose a bottle of beer each, opening one for himself too.  
"You're still ok to fetch Edward and Bella from the airport, Alice?"

Edward was my older brother and Emmett's younger one. He and his fiancée Bella lived just outside of Boston. He taught music to high school kids and Bella was a journalist. They usually came to visit at Christmas time, and once again during the summer, but besides that, we didn't see them all that much. We'd all been such good friends growing up, and truthfully I was very excited to see them.  
"Of course."  
"You know you'll have to take an actual car and not that puny little Porsche of yours, right?"

I tossed a bridal magazine in his direction which he easily dodged.  
"Fine, I'll take yours."

The remaining weeks passed quickly. We all had so much to do that I found myself at Emmett and Rose's more than I was at my own place. A few nights before the wedding I set off for the airport in Emmett's truck. The thing was huge and it made me feel even more petite than usual. It didn't take long to get there or to get parked, so I found myself a little early for the flight. I stood at the front of the crowd in the arrivals terminal of the airport, watching the other people greeting their loved ones. I was more anxious than ever now for their flight to arrive.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, I spotted Edward's unruly hair and Bella's paler than pale skin as they wheeled their luggage through the glass doors. Their faces brightened as they saw me; quickly closing the space as Edward pulled me into a tight hug.  
"Hey, little one."

My heart quickly lodged itself firmly in my throat at the sound of his old nickname for me. Bella shoved him to the side and embraced me as well as Edward smiled.  
"God I've missed you two." I grinned, snuggling myself to Edward as we made our way back to the truck. Edward loaded their luggage into the back before opening the door for Bella. I hopped back into the driver's seat and set off back to our parents' house.  
I could see Bella drifting off in the back.  
"Sorry Bells, am I that boring?" I smirked, eyeing her guilty look. Edward chuckled.  
"She was up all night finishing an article. She really needs to crash."

I felt for her. I knew all to well the pressure of deadlines in journalism.  
"You're forgiven, Bells. Go to sleep."

She mumbled incoherently and was asleep in minutes, leaving Edward and I sitting in silence. As I glanced at him, he spoke softly.  
"How've you been, Alice?"

I wasn't sure how much of the last six months that Edward was aware of. He knew I was back in Forks and not with James any longer, and he'd known about the miscarriage, they all did.  
"You know…just getting my head around things. Moved into my own place, too."  
Edward nodded.  
"You stayed with Mom and Dad for quite a while…don't tell me it's _that_hard to find an apartment in Forks."

I adored my brother, but he knew me inside out and he always knew when I was only giving him the half-truth.  
"It's complicated, Edward."  
"I'd surmised as much. Look I know you probably don't want to divulge the specifics, but you _know_ I'm here if you change your mind, don't you?"

His concern sent my heart back into my throat, and it took me a moment to find my voice again.  
"I know, Edward. Thank you."

The next few days were spent in a flurry of flowers, family and fun. It felt nice to have the entire unit back in the one place, and it was lovely to meet some of Rosalie and Jasper's family. I could see how quickly that Edward and Bella took to Ava, and how she thrived on the extra attention.

Despite the air of love and tranquillity that surrounded the family, I could not help but feel apprehensive about the upcoming wedding. I was supposed to be happy. I was supposed to be getting married. I was _not_ jealous of my brother and Rosalie, but I did mourn what I'd lost.

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**Please review**


	20. Wedding Bells

**A month! Has it really been that long! *hangs head in shame* Life is unbelievably busy right now, and will not cease to be in the near future. I will try to get updates to you all as quickly as I can, but I shall never rush a story. Don't worry though, I always finish what I start :) Please, leave me some lovely reviews? **

**Disclaimer: It's not mine. Well the plot is. And Ava. ;) And Jasper, on occasion... ;)**

**Without any further ado, it's wedding time! **

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_Never marry but for love; but see that thou lov'st what is lovely._

_ WILLIAM PENN, __Some Fruits of Solitude_

**Alice**

The big day had finally arrived. Rose had stayed with her mom the night before the wedding and Emmett had stayed with Mom and Dad. Despite living together for months and most probably going at it like rabbits, they wanted their wedding to be as traditional as possible.

I was awakened by a text from Rosalie just after 7am.

_Morning! If ur not awake already then get ur ass in gear. I'm getting maaaaaarriieeeed today! :D xxx_

I laughed out loud, quickly texting her back.

_I'm awake NOW, mad-woman. Be there soon! :) x_

Savannah's house was big enough that all of the girls were getting dressed there and the guys were getting ready at Mom and Dad's. Emmett wanted to get married in a small but beautiful chapel on the outskirts of Forks, so hotels weren't necessary.

Jasper had dropped Ava off at her Gramma's house early in the morning and by the time I got there her hair was already fixed in gorgeous ringlets.  
"Alice!" She squealed as Savannah let me in.  
"Hi pretty thing! Look how cute your hair is!"

She giggled adorably as she grabbed my hand.  
"Hurry and put your dress on, Auntie Rosie says it's really pretty. Have you seen my dress?"  
"I haven't. Let's see it, then I'll get ready."

Ava led me into one of the spacious spare rooms where all of our dresses, save for Rosalie's, were hanging. Rose had decided against a host of bridesmaids, instead asking me to be her maid of honor. I trusted her to find a dress for me and she had clearly outdone herself. It was a gorgeous, pale pink and silky, and it ended at the knee. Ava's dress was a similar color, with a lovely bow at the back.  
"Aw look how pretty it is, sweetie!" She beamed.  
"I can't wait to see you in it. Are you excited?" Ava giggled and nodded.  
I smiled, gently kissing her curls.  
"I've got to get ready sweetpea, do you want to sit and watch while I do my hair and stuff?"

Ava's eyes lit up and she nodded again. I saw no harm in her sitting with me whilst I got ready. She was such a sweet, well-behaved little thing, and was content and quiet as she watched me getting ready. I assumed that she would get bored and head off to find Savannah, but she stayed, helpfully pointing out pieces of my hair that I'd missed. Instead of curls I'd decided to spike it a little more than usual, fixing a few strands with a pearl clip, which Ava had told me was very pretty.

I kept my makeup fairly natural and light, and I knew from previous experience of weddings that I'd need waterproof mascara. As I applied a generous amount of lip gloss, Ava puckered her lips to mine.  
"Can I have some too?"

I smiled.  
"How about my special one, honeybee." She followed me to my purse excitedly as I pulled out one of my lip balms. She dug her little finger in carefully, taking only a little and smearing it onto her lips. There was no color, just a little shine.  
"It tastes like ice cream!"  
"It sure does, it's vanilla."  
"Yummy!"

I smiled.  
"Hey I'm going to get my dress on. Why don't you find your Grandma and ask her to help you with yours, ok sweetpea?"

Ava nodded.  
"Ok. Thanks for the tasty lips, Alice!" She took her dress and skipped off to find Savannah as I closed the door behind her, buzzing with excitement.

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**Jasper**

It was one of those mornings where I hated owning a cell phone, or any kind of communication device at all. I was pulled from a deep sleep by the shrill ringing of my cell. I fumbled to grab it and almost knocked it from the bedside table before answering on the fourth ring.  
"Hello?"  
"Please tell me I didn't wake you up – Ava's supposed to be here already and you're supposed to be at the Cullen's! Jasper!"

I groaned, scrubbing my hand over my face. I could have yelled at my sister for waking me at 7am but it was her big day.  
"Ok, ok Rose, don't get your panties in a bunch – we'll be there soon."

I quickly hopped into the shower before waking Ava up and fixing us both some toast for breakfast. She still looked adorably sleepy as she tried to eat.  
"Daddy why are we awake? The sun's not even all the way awake yet…" She yawned.  
"Because, bug, it's Auntie Rosie's big day, remember? She gets to wear her pretty dress." I hoped I was doing that right. Somehow I sounded like much more of a pussy than my Mom when I explained it. Ava was suddenly full of energy, swallowing the rest of her toast and practically dragging me out of the door.

She barely glanced back to me when I dropped her off and explained that I'd see her in a few hours. I chuckled at her enthusiasm, pulling out of the driveway and heading to the Cullen's place. Although it wasn't even 8am the house was full of life. I was greeted by a guy who quickly introduced himself to me as Edward. Alice had picked her brother and Bella up from the airport and I'd not had the chance to meet him until now.  
"Jasper!" Emmett's voice boomed from the kitchen.  
"Come and help yourself to the spread!"

I chuckled as Edward led me through. The counters were covered with freshly baked goods. How had Esme had the time to do this before heading over to my Mom's house?

Emmett laughed as if reading my mind.  
"She made them last night and gave Edward specific cooking instructions." He explained, grabbing another two pastries. If he was nervous, his stomach certainly wasn't feeling it.

None of us took long to get ready, and I relished the fact that I got to talk to Edward for a while. Alice had mentioned that they were extremely close. His smile hardened a little when I spoke of their bond and a flash of guilt shone in his eyes.  
"I should have visited sooner."  
"Sooner?" I didn't mean to press him but the words just came out.  
"After James. He was –" I interrupted him.  
"She told me a little bit about him."

I could tell Edward was surprised by this fact but I shrugged. I didn't want to go into what had happened at Rose's birthday; not if he wasn't aware of it already.  
"I just feel like a bit of a shit brother, you know?"

I shook my head, guilt seeping through my veins at his words. I knew all about being a shit brother.  
"Hey, we all wish we could turn back the clock and do things differently sometimes. That doesn't mean we don't care. I read people pretty well and I can see that you care."

Edward's smile was much warmer now.  
"Thanks, man."

**TSL**

It wasn't far from the Cullen's to the chapel. It looked amazing inside and as I took my place beside Emmett and Edward I could see that he was finally beginning to look nervous. He relaxed a little as he caught someone's eye from the other side of the church. Ava. She looked like a tiny little angel; I'm sure I must have had the biggest grin ever on my face as she came towards me. It wasn't until she was halfway towards us that I noticed whose hand she was holding.

Alice. She wore a pale pink dress that made her alabaster skin simply luminescent. Her short, spiked hair accentuated her delicate features and she smiled as she approached us with Ava. She mouthed a silent _hi_ to me as she came to a stop opposite us. I smiled, winking at her and Ava. For some strange reason it made me really happy to see the two of them together.

The small chapel had quickly filled and soon enough the familiar music sounded. Each guest rose to their feet and looked towards the doors. I heard Emmett take a deep breath as the doors opened. I'd never seen my sister look more beautiful than she did today. A lump quickly formed in my throat as she made her way towards us alone. I knew many of us wished that Dad could still be with us, but as Rosalie momentarily cast her eyes skyward, I knew he wasn't far.

As she reached us I gave her arm a quick squeeze. She smiled, leaning close and kissing my cheek before taking her place across from Emmett. Their hands met immediately and suddenly all nerves seemed to have dissipated. The priest spoke. I wasn't particularly listening until a passage from the Corinthians:

_Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres._

As I recited the familiar passage in my head I glanced to my mother. Happy tears shone in her eyes. I looked to Ava. She was so calm and well behaved that I couldn't help but smile. My gaze finally rested on Alice. Her large eyes glistened with unshed tears, only one escaping and trailing its way down her perfect cheek. Her eyes met mine briefly and she gave a faint smile, reaching up to wipe the stray tear. In that moment, whilst my sister was getting married, I came to a sudden and startling realization. I would do _anything_ to make sure that Alice felt that kind of love; the kind that perseveres, the kind that dares to hope, and not the kind that hurts someone in the worst way imaginable. I kept my eyes on her, reveling in her joy for my sister and her brother. I couldn't help but notice just how beautiful she was when she smiled. I'd seen her so often looking overwhelmed or despondent and I knew now that more than anything I wanted to put a stop to that.

There was a small but beautiful garden at the back of the chapel. Gazebos had been erected to protect the food and drinks but the weather was pleasant enough for springtime in Forks. I'd made sure that Ava had her little cardigan on as she played with some of the other children. The little ones seemed oblivious to the music, sitting and coloring or chatting with their parents and family members. I quickly found my sister and wrapped my arms around her as another slow song began.  
"Hey…"  
"Hi…I'm married." She beamed, wrapping her arms around my neck as we swayed slowly.  
"I saw. I'm so unbelievably happy for you, Rosie." I pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead and she smiled, glancing to her new husband. He was doing as I was. Dancing with his little sister.  
"You think we should swap?" Emmett chuckled, twirling Alice delicately. I nodded and released my sister back into Emmett's welcoming arms.

As Alice approached me I felt more nervous now than I had actually standing on that alter and watching Rose get married. Perhaps it was my earlier revelation that had me dazed, but as I took her tiny hand in mine and placed my other gently on her waist, I felt hope.

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**Tell me what you think? **


	21. The Reception

**All I can do is apologise, and hope that I never leave you all hanging for this long again! This is just a short chapter that takes place after Rose and Emmett's wedding ceremony. Please, let me know what you think.**

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**Alice**

I just knew I'd cry during the ceremony. It was impossible not to. Emmett looked unbelievable excited and I'd never seen Rosalie look so beautiful. It wasn't until a tear fell from my eye that I tore my gaze from the happy couple and looked to Jasper. He'd been looking at me, probably to see if I'd cry or not. I flashed him a faint smile to let him know they were tears of happiness as I wiped one away, my eyes focusing again on my brother and my soon-to-be sister in law.

Rose had included me in most of the planning, but I was still taken aback by the beauty of the Chapel's garden. Waiters circled, presenting trays of champagne as loved ones mingled. I suddenly felt a very strong, warm pair of hands wrap around my waist and I smiled, immediately recognizing Emmett's touch. I turned in his arms as he enveloped me in a giant hug.  
"Congrats, Emm."

He chuckled, burying his head into my neck for a moment.  
"Dance with me?"

I grinned.  
"Anytime."

I followed him to where others were dancing. He had always been a happy, carefree guy but today he practically vibrated with excitement. I giggled as he spun me around before crushing me against his chest again. I looked up to see his focus had shifted to his bride. Rose was only a few feet from us, doing what I was doing. Dancing with her big brother.  
"You think we should swap?" Emmett asked, gently releasing as Rosalie nodded. Jasper smiled at me, and moved towards me. He let me close the remaining gap as he took my small hand in his. Moments later his other hand rested on my waist. I smiled. There was no panic, I felt safe. I watched as Jasper's smile grew too. It made me very anxious to know what he was thinking.  
"Happy…?"

He nodded.  
"Very. Your brother is a wonderful man, and he makes Rosie incredibly happy. I couldn't really ask for anything more."

His words tugged at my heart as I felt tears forming in my eyes. He instantly frowned.  
"Did I say something wrong?"

I shook my head.  
"No, you didn't."

He didn't seem reassured, but his hold on me tightened a little, pulling my body closer to his. I still expected the panic to come, to overwhelm me, but instead I was filled with a sense of warmth and comfort. I smiled, realizing my face was now merely inches from his. His hand released mine and I suddenly felt physically cold, before his hand came to my waist, meeting his other one as I was effectively wrapped in his embrace. I responded, my hands circling his neck as I moved closer still. His smile reassured me, and for the first time in months I felt something. Something other than despair and hurt.

"Are _you_ happy?"

His voice was so quiet that I almost didn't hear him.

I nodded as I swallowed, blinking the tears from my eyes.  
"I'm very happy for them. They give me some kind of hope."

I bit softly on my lip; I hadn't meant to be so candid, but there was something so unassuming and so inviting about Jasper that kept drawing me closer.  
He smiled, his thumb gently grazing my waist.

"I know exactly what you mean."


	22. Closer

_**I can't believe I've made you all wait this long! I DO have two excuses – one of which is extremely valid! **_

_**One: I seem to have become obsessed with Grey's Anatomy, and thus I'm really into Calzona fics at the moment, but I DO still love this one, it's my baby.**_

_**Two: I've changed career paths AGAIN, and as such I was training abroad for 6weeks with NO time and NO internet – I'm a flight attendant now and the hours are rather tough to get used to! **_

_**ANYWAY, enough with my crappy excuses, on with some Jalice :)**_

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**Alice**

The weeks following Rose and Emmett's wedding moved quickly. They'd chosen to go to Fiji for their honeymoon, and as promised, Rose emailed every day, including pictures for us.

I began spending more and more time at Jasper's; using the pretence that Ava was missing her aunt and needed a substitute.

One night, after putting Ava to bed, Jasper returned to the living room.  
"Do you want some dessert? My mom made this ridiculously fantastic cheesecake yesterday…"

I grinned. Jasper could eat for the state. No, scratch that, he could eat for the entire country.  
"I'm totally full Jasper, that pizza nearly knocked me out!" I laughed.

He shrugged, plating a piece for himself and coming to sit back down.  
"Suit yourself."

He watched me as he ate, smiling between mouthfuls.  
"Seriously, just try some."

I rolled my eyes, convinced he would not shut up until I'd at least tried a little."  
"Ok." I conceded, opening my mouth as a fork-full rose towards me. I placed a hand under my chin out of instinct; my pants were DKNY after all and did not need to be covered in cheesecake. I moaned softly as I tasted it, Savannah seriously made the world's greatest food.

Jasper chuckled, wiping a piece of cream from the corner of my mouth. My skin buzzed at the casual contact.  
"Good?"  
"So good…"

The next bite was offered to me again, and the next, to the point where we'd shared the piece.  
"Thought you said you were full…" He grinned, placing the plate on the side table.  
"I am…I can't move now…" I moaned, curling up a little and closing my eyes. I was so comfortable. Comfortable enough that I didn't notice Jasper's hands move until they were dangerously close to my ribs. He poked softly, beginning to tickle me. I squealed, trying to move quickly.  
"Don't you dare, unless you want to spend the rest of the evening scrubbing vomit out of your carpet!"

When I turned, our bodies were close, and I was effectively pinned under him. I bit my lip, waiting for panic to take over.

**Jasper**

I'd inadvertently pinned Alice to the couch before I'd realised it. I tensed. I didn't want to scare her, but I didn't want to pull back in any huge hurry either. Being close to her felt comfortable. Right. Her eyes were wide and expressive, and as she looked at me she bit her lip, as if willing herself not to panic. I moved my hand and stilled it on the side of her stomach.  
"You ok?" I asked quietly.

She didn't respond immediately, as though she was taking stock, trying to ascertain for herself if she actually was ok. Moments later there was an almost imperceptible nod, and she released her lip from between her teeth.

We were close enough that I could feel her warm breath against my face, and I could feel her body relax under mine. I sat back a little, not willing to lose such close contact. To my surprise, she sat too, this time much closer to me than before. Her willingness spurred me to raise my arm, resting it over her shoulder. I was rewarded with a smile as I began to absentmindedly trail my fingers from the top of her neck to her shoulder.

The contact elicited another smile from Alice. I realised that Alice's smile was quickly becoming my favourite thing. I watched as one side of her mouth curled a little more.  
"What?" She queried, her expressive orbs penetrating mine.  
"It's just…your smile."

A faint blush appeared on her cheeks as she averted her gaze shyly.  
"My smile?" She questioned, chewing on her lip as she brought her eyes up to meet mine again.  
"It's beautiful. _You're_ beautiful when you're happy."

What happened next took me by surprise. Her eyes glanced from mine to rest on my mouth, then back to my eyes as she leaned in even closer, quickly eradicating the remaining space between us. I leaned in too, our foreheads touching gently. I could feel her soft breath against my face again as she closed her eyes, pressing her lips to mine.

Her lips felt even softer than they looked and still tasted faintly of cheesecake. I moved slowly, aware of letting Alice set a pace she was comfortable with, but as she pressed her lips more firmly against mine, I subconsciously raised my hand, cupping her cheek.

Moments later we pulled apart slowly.

"Are you ok?" I asked softly, my hand still resting on her cheek. Her eyes sparkled as her entire face lit up.

"I'm _way_ better than ok."


End file.
